i only want to post in this thing anymore when i am pity partying. rather than calling someone and having a good laugh, i write a so sad entry. i regret it instantly and delete it because it is laaaaaame. let's recap the past few days. we have an eliptical machine thing taking up what feels like 47% of the apartment and it is the highlight of my day. have i talked about this thing yet? i am not sure.

yeash, the avett brothers are playing at the orange peel tonight, one of three days here in asheville and i think it is playing a part in my mood. i really wanted to go to at least one of the shows but i tend to talk myself out of fun fun good times. i could go on about this but i would rather let it go. i thought of it because a random avett brothers song started playing on the ol pandora.

aaaaaanyway, moving on. lets see....elliptical is awesome, social anxiety sucks, where was i? nothing much is going on other than i cleaned the closet out in record time yesterday and "apartment redo 2009" is starting early. i was hoping it was going to be "apt. redo 2008" but we see how that went. it is nice to get rid of things we don't need or use. next on the list is to box up our books and dvds so we can get rid of the bookshelf. after that will be furniture move-in and maybe cable-gettin'! nothing helps a hermit like getting digital cable!

speaking of television and how it is the second love of my life, my new favorite show is "sons of anarchy" and it pains me to say that. i am not sure what it is but i am pretty into it. oh hulu, ya got me! speaking of, i am going to absorb a couple of episodes of said show.

holy beans!

i thought that song could not get much better. then it went and did it! it got better! yawza, it almost wore a hole into the floor, walking from the kitchen to the computer chair.

pretty exciting things going on in the owens/burton household. ya got me, thats not true. things are pretty regular. i have a new favorite show. "life" starring.....er, let me google it. damian lewis, starring damian lewis. it is the same ol' detective stuff. solvin' mysteries, gettin' clues...that kind of thing but i guess they went the extra mile to make it a little less obvious and laaaaame. enough about that.

i am kind of worried. the secret santa gift that i ruined? the tie? i wrote on it? it wanted to replace it? couple entries back? i started buying a new one but i stopped halfway through the ordering. soooo today, i checked the mail and a tie was there. hrrrrrmmmmmmm? what? i called my card people and asked if there were 2 charges blah blah blah and i am thinking that i didnt pay for it? there were not 2 charges, only the first. i am freaking out. i stopped halfway through the buying process because i didnt want to pay for it again. i went 10$ over the limit anyway, did i really want to go even MORE over the limit? the answer is no thank you. i was going to take it to the cleaners or put the ol tide stick to it. so the plan is this: take the tie to nate tomorrow because it is him christmas gift. i am giving him the new one that does not have: to nate from charlie on it. i am going to email the tie people and see if i paid for it. if i do, then i will. SHHHHEEEEEESH!!!!!!!!!

i am teaching a girl from work to knit tomorrow. i havnt been knitting. all of the panels for my blanket are finished but i have to put them together somehow. i am comfortable using double pointed needles so i would like to make some socks pretty soon. when i am at work i think about coming home, watching the darjeeling limited and knitting but i never seem to flesh out this fantasy. maybe i will do that now.

we got an elliptical. it is pretty much the best thing that we could have brought into this apartment. besides a kitten that had better be on its way soon. anyway. the elliptical. at first it was pretty much just beating us. i would get on for 5 minutes and feel like i wanted to die. now i am comfortable with the settings and can go a good 30 minutes. its worth its weight in gold in my eyes. it helps that jt and i are becoming pretty competitive about it and try to outdo each others calories burned. speaking of, i think i am going to elliptical it for a bit before bed.

"curious of many things but too lazy to move, far enough to spread the wings i stuck on with old glue"

ugh. too many days off! i am looking forward to working tonight. i am looking forward to january.

i wanted to send out christmas cards this year but that feeling left me when i realized it would have to find the perfect one, buy it, scrounge up addresses, call people for addresses, buy stamps, mail them out....you know, actually do stuff. not high on my list of loves at the moment. my motivation/inspiration tank is empty. which is really sad. i have a lot of things i need to do. i need to get this apartment in order. i have to get rid of our stuff! i don't need or use 75% of what i own. i want to get it out of my life! i want roooooooom, i want lighting, i want my comfy couch! i am needy today. i am whiny as well. not a great combo.

i would say that today was pretty "meh". i woke up late, since i am off for 3 days i am okay with that. i say that as if i wake up early normally but this is not the case. i go through phases. when i started living alone i woke up at a respectable hour, mostly so i could find a place to not be alone. when i moved to bristol i had no choice but to wake up fairly early because i couldn't find curtains for the million gigantic windows. plus i was working early. now i sleep super late because we live in a cave. it is dark and cold and if there were no clocks around you would think it is 7am at all times. unfortunately we do have a clock and i feel like it is judging me. i wake up and i don't really feel like doing much till round about 2. i am not pleased with this, i am just saying. today was no different. i started cleaning and about a quarter of the way through what i wanted to get finished, i realized that the vacuum, tony stark, doesnt work all that well. hey, maybe i am using it wrong, i don't have a whole hell of a lot of experience with vacuuming. anyway. i figured it was for the best and stop cleaning altogether. i started knitting a neckwarmer/buff/necktube and worked on the blanket for a while. jt came home. we ate dinner. i watched jon and kate+ 8. finished the necktube. it looks better than the last one. THEN it was time to get ready for the starbucks christmas bowling extraviganza. as soon as i got there it only took a second to remember "holy hell, i am socially awkward!". i felt really uncomfortable. being in that large of a group made me insane. even the people that i really enjoy being around and have a connection with felt like complete strangers. weird and not enjoyable. plus i ruined my secret santa gift! i thought it would be kinda stupid to take his gift in a tissue filled bag, as he is a guy and i am guessing would not appreciate or need the extra packaging. it was a tie by the way. a nice tie! it was wrapped in tissue and i tied some dark blue yarn around it. i figured it would make sense to write his name on it. ugh, it bled through and the tie said "to nate, from charlie". i was upset about it. i took it back and now i have to find a way to either get the stains out or replace it. i am leaning toward replacing it. also, my secret santa got me an awesome yarn dispensing bag and 3 balls of yarn. a great score for me. after the gifts we went to bowl. i opted out and send an s.o.s message to jt. while i was waiting a co-worker turns to me and says "this is a really uncomfortable party, no?" i agreed. at least i got to hear that it was pretty weird for a couple more people. i left and requested a trip to sonic. we stared at the menu for several minutes and a guy came out and said they were closing in 3 minutes. to our ears it said "please make this night easier for me and just leave" so we just left. came home, i continued jon and kate+ 8 and knitting. jt went to bed a couple of hours ago and to block out the light i gave him a panel of the blanket i am knitting (normally buckley was in charge of light blocking r.i.p). mistake because guy won't let go of it.

oh my goodness this is the cutest thing i have ever seeeeeen

Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

uuuuuuugggggggh, so cute!

i want a kitten for christmas.

yeash. i am getting my car window fixed. the guy is outside right now. the question i have is this: should i tip the guy?? he IS providing a service. i didnt have to even leave the apartment. i have no idea if i should tip or not.

anyway. in other news, buckley, my buckwheat roll pillow that i have used to cover my eyes almost every single night for 8 years, fell apart a couple of nights ago. at first it was just a small hole that i stitched up. then a few inches from the original hole, another larger hole popped up. then, i was lying on the pillow and i tried to move it up a little to get more comfortable and it ripped! the past 2 nights have been horrible. number one, this pillow had weight and it conformed to my face. number two, any position i slept in, buckley had a place to be that maximized comfort. number three, i usually refered to this pillow as a "he", not an "it" so you can see how i am pretty distrought over it. i am not sleeping as well. i am trying just to drape a shirt over my eyes but it is a constant battle to keep it in place, it has no weight--which was 50% of the reason i loved buckley so much, and as soon as it falls away from my face, i wake up. i looked for something similar online and it seems pricier than i remember. i got buckley at wal-mart for 20 dollars. it seemed like a lot and maybe even a waste at the time but i felt like it could be the answers to my eye covering woes. and don't even think about suggesting an eye mask because i will freak out. eye masks mean nothing to me.

moving on. i finally got a phone yesterday! let me rephrase that, jt went out and took care of the phone business. i said "come home with a phone or don't come home at all". i really enjoy it and i hope that i dont throw it into some water or wash it. it is a struggle for me, obviously.

we watched "tropic thunder" last night and in my eyes, it was a bust. jt liked it and got a few good laughs out of it. the same with "pineapple express". i was disapointed and he loved it. what are ya gonna do??

i am almost finished with my blanket! at this rate i am so tired of looking at it that i may give it away. knit club went from 2 members to having 10 at its peak and now we are down to the hardcore half dozen and i have to say, they are the most appreciative of all things knitted and crafted. when showing a non-knitter my fugly creations (NECKTUBE ANYONE!!???) the reaction is something like this "oh wow...(looking around the room uncomfortably) that is...different?". but to take it to knit club is like taking a golden egg! it is fawned over and passed around with wide eyes. its a great feeling.

sheesh, the guy is still working on my car door. to tip or not to tip. i have no idea.

--okay, the window is fixed. i payed, i didnt tip. UGH! i should have!!!! it was a service! too late now. i did call and say how awesome the guy was. sheesh.

sooooooo. knit club branched out yesterday! it was exciting to get away from meeting at work. it feels like i am at work even though i am just sitting there knitting. we went from starbucks to ...another coffee place! i feel like starbucks is a coffee store, not really a coffee shop. anyway, this place is an actual coffee shop with stereotypical baristas and patrons. i felt like a fraud being there. i betrayed my place of employment as soon as i walked in the door. i walked in and realized the i had 2 starbucks pins on my jacket. i took them off in record speed. i did it because i didnt want to look out of place. i did it for the same reason a middle school kid feels like they have to wear a certain brand of clothing. SICK! i hate that i place made me feel the way i did. asheville is full of pretentious people and it felt like they were all there, hanging out with other smug assholios. at least a third of them were buried in a mac, writing something profound no doubt. i could go on about my experience there but i have to get dressed in order to walk there and knit again. hey, it is better that hanging out at work. plus they have manual machines and the coffee is good.

this song instantly makes a bad mood better. if i listen to it through the headphones it almost makes me laugh, my mood is that good.

my taste in music is making me a little sad lately. i used to pride myself on having what i thought was decent taste in music....i don't count anything before i was 18 years old. i feel like i dropped off of the musical map the past couple of years. i just haven't sought out anything other than what i happen to hear. plus it doesn't help when someone younger than you says "oh, you haven't heard of...insert crappy band here...wow, i listened to them a loooooong time ago!", then i feel positively elderly. again, i blame The Internet. i am going to be that person that hates all things new. i will sit in my rocking chair and think about how things used to be awesome.

yeeuuuuck, i am back on the soda. i feel awful about it. thanksgiving week did me in as far as sweets and soda are concerned. so, back to square one. no more soda. after i drink this can of dr. pepper. and the dr. enuf in the fridge. so, tomorrow i will stop.

got the last of my blanket yarn today. finally it will be finished! i am thinking of just giving it away because i am tired of looking at it. i wanted a homemade blanket for myself but i don't think that this is the one. did i mention i walked to town to get said yarn?!? COLD. winter coat buying has not gone well for me so far. enough about that.

what else....i washed my phone and i have to use the razr that only stayed charged for 30 minutes at a time. i made laundry soap. it actually works really well and it takes no time. speaking of, i need to wash some clothes and watch a movie whilst i knit. i taught chels to knit over thanksgiving week! she is naturally crafty. i have not seen anyone learn to knit that quickly! insaaaaane. i am proud proud proud.

Find the nearest five things next to you and...

1. Book: turn to page 56. Find fifth sentence in first paragraph, post below with title. "vroom, baby" from candy girl...

2. Magazine: turn to page 32, and choose the third line in the second paragraph, post below (if advertisement, next editorial page after). "it got to the point where if i heard another four-on-the-floor type of song i was gonna slit my wrists"

3. DVD/VHS/VCD/Laserdisc package next to you. Fourth name in the credits on the front or back cover. jason dohring

4. Mail in an envelope: Who is it from? the cable company

5. Packaging (new or used): What is it for? water

man-o-man, that was not as awesome as i wanted it to be. of course, not much is. hey! i am leaving town on tuesday! i have my family route planned out pretty neatly in my head but i know it is not going to be as smooth as i am thinking. we shall see!

i really have nothing to post about, i am just bored bored bored.

midnight showing of twilight. i have a few things to say about it.

--i am not going to a movie ever again that i can't eat real food and have a real beer...or donnie daquiri (HA! get it?). i love asheville and thier good time eateries.

--i went with one hardcore fan of the series, a person that has never read a line in any of the books, and 2 people that, like myself, have read the series once.

--the wait was not what i expected. i thought that people would be camping out and such. star wars this was not. we got there and there were a few tables in the bar area filled with high school girls pouring over the book and one teen-something boy that looked like he was trying to look like a lost cullen. edward he was not but girls were swooning none the less. we got some drinks and prepared to wait the hour before seating started. did i mention half of us just got off of work? anyway. this place seems pretty pretentious....german silent film on the tvs around the room, hoity toity beer selection, 2 stereotypically "indie" guys working the bar.....does anyone say "indie" anymore? i am old, i am not sure if that is still the word to describe. moving on. we got seated, ordered food, watched some stupid movie from the 70's that was set in a hospital and valerie still said "is this "the 10 commandments"? blah blah blah blah, some previews happened, then the movie started.

let me just say that i went in thinking that i was going to be let down. this is a book for tweens, i know, but i really liked it and i really got into the story....so thinking that it was going to be butchered for the hannah montana crowd made me want to rethink watching it at all. aaaaanyway. it was hilarious to hear everyones reaction when each character was introduced. you either heard "that is totally not what he/she is supposed to look like!" or "yeah, yeah, that is totally ________" and oh my goodness when the first shot of edward came up you would think that it was the return of jesus. a collective sigh and many a giggle waved across the theatre. it myself swooned and maybe smiled bigger than i should have. let me just say that when i saw the first pictures and previews of this guy i was thinking "geez, this guy is NOT my edward!" but i have been changed. i cannot get enough of this guy. moving on again. here are a few more bullet points that i can't make interresting enough for an actual paragraph:

--charlie, the dad, is hilarious and when he gets his gun ready to meet edward i laughed more than it actually warranted.

--bella needs a fast acting inhaler. her breathing freaks me out. in every movie she is in she is gasping for air. not that i would not be breathing weird in this case.

--teen cleavage in movies and tv shows is starting to scare me. i have to deal with it on veronica mars and now twilight? come on people, they are supposed to be 16! that is weird as hell!

--stephanie meyers made a lil cameo as a diner patron and all i could think was "laaaame, and please don't let her have any speaking parts because i will walk out! i swear!"

--every couple of scenes valerie to my left would say "that is NOT how this is supposed to happen!" and margaret to my right would say "isn't she supposed to be wearing jogging pants?" so i am glad that i havnt read the book in months.

little things i am going to call "book jokes" popped up and everyone shared a laugh that someone that has not read the book would not really get as much. but why would those people even be there? stay home posers!

all in all i feel like it was not bad at all. the party i was with haaaaaated it and could not have been more unhappy. details were not perfect but it fit for the movie. things have to be shortened and it did go a lot quicker than the book but we don't have all day. not that i would have minded sitting through it. there were also some corny parts that may have cheapened the experience but i went in knowing it. victoria needs to head back to drama school...she was laying it on thick and it was making me angry. rosalie is supposed to be the most beautiful thing on earth but she looked like a girls gone wild reunion tour rep. she did have a thick behind if you know what i mean, which i respect. another part that killed me was when edward went into the sun to show bella what happens.....you know, he gets all shiny and whatnot. he was glittery....not diamond covered and beautiful the way i imagined. more.....glittery. while glitter covered he said something to the effect of being the most dangerous killer ever or something like that....guy, you are covered in glitter, ie: not scary.


all in all i will see it again. and buy it when it comes out.

midnight 'twilight' premiere tomorrow! i am pretty excited, even though the movie is not going to compare to what i imagined when i read it. straight after work we are heading to the theatre/bar and hopefully they will still have some room. i have my ticket already but does that really mean anything? plus i am going with one of the most hardcore twilight fans on the earth so i have no choice but to enjoy it. jt doesn't seem to want to see it. when i go to bsg next week i want to take julie to see it as well. speaking of, i am looking forward to going home for a bit. since i am going up tuesday and not sunday i am worried about getting from house to house and not getting to spend as much time as i would like with people but i can get over it. the thought of my family being as separate as they are is making me a little frustrated, sad, angry, etc. no one talks to anyone. AT ALL. uhg. the good news is that i am getting 3 thanksgiving dinners. that is a plus, right? i am actually going to keep watching the food intake during the holidays. i have been slipping lately, having a cheerwine today, pizza yesterday....but i am not beating myself up over it.

anyway. operation "malibeast" is going to start when i get back from thanksgiving. taking it to get a tune up and run a diagnostic, fixing the window, new tires. it will get me around town and to and from work in the winter and maybe it will last long enough to see me through another year. maybe, maybe not. i have seen far worse cars on the road....

uhg, i am going to watch some veronica mars and knit for a while. i am trying to see the show through the first season so i can give a more accurate opinion. plus i can's watch 'millennium' alone. i get all freaked out.

so. i started watching veronica mars. i hate to say it but the show is not the worst i have ever seen. there are a lot of things i could live without but it satisfies the part of me that loves seeing people get what is coming to them. early in the episode, someone is being an ass and they need to be put in their place and by the end of the show, veronica mars gives them the business and it is very very satisfying every time. there are a few things i hate about the show....her flashbacks being one. everything i hate about youth culture all balled into a 3 minute scene. ugh. another thing i hate is he "funny" one liners. i also hate that there are scenes here and there that are giving the thumbs up to pedophilia.....HEY! here's a 16 year olds side boob! its just weird and i could live without it. that is my opinion though. anyway. i can see why people that it is geared toward like it and i am not giving up on it but i am not head over heels for it.

moving on. i would like to share a couple of funny moments from my life. i was counting tips with peter yesterday and before we started i warned him that i have not manually done tips in a while. it is just hours of counting change and figuring up how much everyone gets.....really awful stuff. aaaaaaaanyway. the following exchange happened:

me: hey, this is like riding a bike!

peter: yeah, once you get back into it, it goes pretty quickly

me: no, i meant it was like riding a bike----it sucks and i hate it.

i laughed like there was no tomorrow. i got a courtesy chuckle from the room. thats enought for me these days.

another knitting session yesterday. i really enjoy knitting and hanging out with people but yesterday was a bust. i couldn't get my pattern to work out for me, everything was frustrating me, it was not a great knitting day. plus i hate that we meet at starbucks. i feel like i am at work and too many random customers come by and say the same things, "oh you guys can't get enough of this place!" and "oh i tried to knit once and i just dont have the patience for it!".

hopefully the malibeast will be up and running soon and i can drive. as long as nothing major is wrong, everything will work out.

i want to listen to this all day......oh wait, i DID!

sheesh. when i first started watching hulu all the live long day, i wished a great wish that "reba" would be on there. i pulled it up today and what did i see? yep. thats right, REBA! hurraah!!!!

work was really......time consuming today.

i just wrote a bunch about stuff that happens at work that i think is funny and craaaazy but it was kind of stupid and makes a better "out loud" story and demonstration.

let me tell you. i have been in a crappy mood all day. it all turned around when i tuned the ol' pandora to an adult contemporary station and the smooth sounds of phil collins, billy joel and the best hall and oats song "i can't go for that" turned my frown upside down. not literally, i am pretty blanked faced but i am in a better mood. thank you awful/awesome music! plus i am finally doing laundry and cleaning the kitchen.

so. as far as my "reduced calorie, no soda, little to no crap food, slightly more than the zero exersize i am used to" diet was going fairly well until a certain guy i live with weighed himself and announced that while i have changed quite a bit of my eating habits and am struggling to adjust, he has lost well over 10 pounds by doing NOTHING. plus he has cheated and gets to eat 5 guys burgers and fries every week. i know i am being a baby about it. then i found out that i am burning the same calories knitting as i am doing my old lady "workouts". ACK! i am really happy for jt and i wish i wasnt being such a lunatic about it but i just dont get it!

ANYWAY. i am off to eat a piece of cheese. delightful.

i feel like i am waking up too late for an adult. i wake up at around 10. i am practically in my late 20's, this should not be! starting sometime in the near future i am going to wake up earlier than 9...in a consistant manner. it's only right. i am also slacking in the apartment upkeep area. basically i watch hulu all day till it is time to go to work. knit club is getting me out a little more and is making me feel more human but i am looking forward to getting back to school and feeling even more productive. the wheels are a-turnin to get the ol malibeast back on the road. i am hoping that i still walk to work even after it is fixed. even though i am in the process of changing my eating habits, if i don't walk or do my old lady workout, it was all for nothing. i am splurgning today and we are having some asian take-out of some kind. it is going to be grreeeaaat, i just know it!

knit club was exciting today because it involved a car on car collision! as soon as i got into denise's car, a woman smashed into the side. the side got scratched up and there is a fist sized dent as well. denise's feelings were pretty oh well about it and we just kept on to the yarn getting store. i got some gray and yellow. i am making the best scarf that has ever existed.

jt just came home with food so i am going to focus on that.

there's a limit to your love.

nothing better than waking up and watching a new episode of 'bones'. you would think that show is on the way down but it is as great as it ever was if not better. now i am updating this thing, listening to the most soothing music i could assemble.

----------------------------

ugh, i just deleted a huge entry. it was really comforting to type it out but i don't want to use this blog as a soapbox. after my myspace rage, i felt sad that i offended someone, even if i felt offended by their words. i don't want to feel either and i want to work on it. being more honest about how i feel and being accepting of how others believe is not as easy as i want it to be.


on a lighter note, a mini knit club going down today at 3 with the addition of 2 more people. i am pretty excited about it. i am still working on my blanket and i am thinking of making a simple hat. i hate the style of this particular hat but it is easy and fast. maybe i will call it "hooker hat". get it? ha. aaaaaanyway. the internet is sucking the life out of me lately. i am going to cut my internet time down.

i forgot to mention when i was talking about my day in the last post, holly brought her pet rats by as we were knitting and i let both of them crawl on my shoulders. it was cuter than you are imagining. not that i am running out to get a rat to name and hang out with, it was just something that happened and it was not terrible.

'leatherheads' is not as enjoyable as i thought it would be. maybe because i didnt so much as watch it as i just turned it on and walked away (psh, HEY-OH!).

also, i didnt knit like i said i would. i am a lying son of a gun, sorry about that. i really just sat here and watched the ol cnn ticker thing. and i drank some juice. i havent eaten anything good for me today. i even got a meat and 2 veg dinner from the hippie deli and it was not good for me. they make some great mac and cheese. lets never say "mac" again. sorry. i am still within my calorie intake for the day according to the 'daily plate' tracker so i am not going to be sad about it. i did a super short old lady workout and walked to the starbucks so i dont feel toooo lazy but seeing as how i have been staring at the same screen for 3 hours, it can make me feel that way.


WOOP! THIS JUST IN: PRESIDENT OBAMA! this is better than new years!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is times like these i wish we had cable. i just want to do some jumping jacks and maybe some mountain climbers! i can hear all of the liberal babies being conceived all across america as we speak. good times!

man, i have a really funny thing to say but it is offensive so i will not say it. oh man, its funny. i just texted a version to jt. i'll bet he thinks its funny.

here come your baby mama, driving a suzuki

if there were a contest, "who can watch 'baby mama' the most in one week", i would win. maybe.

public service announcements about smoking make me sad.

public service announcements generally make me feel sad.

knit club is going well and we talked about various people and things and fun was had. good knitting session. i haven't talked about knit club a lot because the first rule of knit club is don't talk about knit.......actually the first rule is "try not to be mean" but whatever.

i am getting ready to watch 'leatherheads' for some reason and continue knitting. why do i want to watch this movie? i can't remember!

trying not to look at cnn is difficult. i talked a bit about how i feel on my myspace blog, concerning the elections. its not about the elections at all, its about how people spewing their opinions makes me feel. opinions are like assholes, everyone has one! i feel a lot stronger than what i posted but i cant just line people who thing differently than myself up and beat my opinions into them. not that they didn't clutter up my screen with their lovely thoughts. but, you know what? i don't have to look at it. goodbye myspace, you were always a piece of crap. it had it's moments but all in all it is not for me.

thank you and goodnight.

our super party friday night ended with us going to bed at 10:30 after 1.5 drinks each. we were pretty much just stumbling drunk off of my one gin and tonic and jt off of his old man campari and juice which has so little alcohol a 2nd grader could drink it and not get as wasted as he did(JT edit: I also had half an overly strong gin and tonic as well). we are laaaaame. i watched tim and eric's awesome show great job (jt says awful show is more like it) and it is pretty much the funniest thing ever. not really but it is funny.

now we are off to the grocery store and hopefully to get me a bra. i am not getting it at the grocery store. just so we are clear on that.

jt guest blogged! that makes me really happy. since he numbered it, i am hoping that means he will do that more often.

my day started with 4 hours of work. i felt weird and high all day and i pretty much just laughed and laughed and laughed some more. it was grrrrreat. then i walked to purls, the yarn store and bought some....YARN! then i walked back to work where i taught harmony how to knit for a for a couple of hours. it was fantastical fun times. then jt and i went to look for some shoes. it was a bust. i was also looking for a coat and it was a busty bust as well. then we went to eat and i ate more that i have eaten in a week in one sitting and i feel like crap about it. then we went to the liquor store and got some elderly things to get wasted on. just kidding. we are not going to get wasted but we did get some old people stuff. HA! jt just read this and said "i thought you said that we were!" about getting wasted. he was joking but hot damn it was funny. anyway, we got some campari and gin to make some old lady gin and tonics and some old man campari and whatever. i feel positively ancient! i am also going to knit! happy halloweeeen. campari sucks by the way.

goodnight!

J.T.'s Guest Blog #1: My week. Also...a question.

First of all...the flashing cursor didn't automatically show up in the text box, and thus I spent 15 seconds clicking around wondering why my tab from the title box didn't get me where I wanted to be. Second of all, I'm doing this without Charlie's knowledge, though I do have her full permission, because she has Mozilla (no I will NOT call you Seamonkey) save all her passwords.

Anyway.

Monday I went on a field trip downtown as a substitute chaperone for a kindergarten class. That was an interesting experience. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be though. For the bus trip there, I'm sure from the outside I looked hilarious, as I was sitting halfway back, surrounded by 5 year olds with a look of terror on my face. It was a storytelling thing at the public library, which I didn't find particularly interesting. The most interesting part was my trip to the bathroom with the boys. You haven't felt awkward until you glance over and see three boys using the same urinal. Also as there were other schools from around the city having the same field trip, so I got to feel like a zoo animal as I got many strange looks from teachers and adults from the other schools. After that we went to a park and had lunch. A cold windy lunch as it's late October and we were at a flat hill-less park next to a river. I ate my two cold ham and cheese sandwiches, drank my carton of chocolate milk, and spend the rest of the time picking up the trash that got blown and thrown away.

Asheville used to have a short track for racing, which was turned into a park. I always felt kind of negatively about that, as I am in fact a race fan. Once I got there all my negativity was erased. It still feels odd that the track itself is only used for bicycles, but the infield of it is amazing. They have a large grassy area, a full basketball court, a roller hockey rink, two sand volleyball courts, and a gigantic playground. Guess where we went? It is amazing how much joy can be had by 5 year olds just running around and randomly screaming. I don't mean yelling either, I mean fucking screaming, as though they are being chased by beasts from the depths of hell. It wasn't so bad though, I ended up spending the majority of the time, lifting the children into swings and pushing them. Some was spent sparing glances at some dude in his mid-late 40s I assume trying to be impressive. He was "playing basketball" almost as bad as me, and I'm pretty fucking terrible. He then took off his shirt, and was doing pushups. DUDE! Really?! It's not even like he had a body that needed to be shown off, it was the typical body of a late 40 yr old in mediocre shape. Needless to say, I could have done without that.

The rest of the week was spent recovering from that day, basically.

The question...with some lead up. Every Friday I set up a DVD player, data projector, and sound system in the cafeteria so the kids waiting for the 2nd and 3rd load buses can watch a movie. I've shown basically the same 5-6 movies every week for the past two years. As we can only show G movies, and the only G movie I own is the Lion King, I decided, hey, I'll bring that in and they can watch it for the next few weeks. So I did. Once there, I started thinking about the movie, and how fucking intense it is at times. Even now, because really, the movie is that awesome. So after asking around I didn't show it. So my question: Is the Lion King too intense to show to a room ranging from 5-10 yr olds?

So now that I've typed all this, I really want to delete it. Charlie (who is now home) will not allow it, so post it I shall.

HA!

i had 3 dreams last night. the first was being trapped in a hardees waiting for jesus with a bunch of old guys. there were no lights at all and in the morning i found out a film crew was there the whole time. i was like "hey, you are not part of this either, rescue me!" it was odd and scarier than it sounds. the second dream was me, phillip, and obama eating at several restaurants. barack had a couple of beers and started gettin' crraaaaaazy. i found a computer somewhere and started listening to the worst music ever and i said "man, this is the worst music EVER" and wouldnt you know it, the kid that was singing was standing right beside of me. i tried to recover but he offered to roller skate with me and i am guessing things were cool between us. it was a good dream. the last dream was that dee snyder of twisted sister wanted to adopt me. i was on the side of the road and he and his wife picked me up and dropped me off in the worst town ever. it was full of people that looked like they were from the movie "gummo" and toilets were everywhere. aaaaaanyway, i walked around for a while and the snyder family found me again and asked if they could adopt me. i was like "errr, i am an adult!" they didnt care so i said "sure". we then went to a place that they called 'the concrete mile' and apparently you could go whatever speed you wanted there. it was just a mile though so i have no idea what my brain was thinking.

oh dreams, you so crazy.

i am really not liking my new sleep patterns. i go to bed at 11-ish and wake up at 11-sh AM! that is just too much and i waste most of the day. not that i make use of the day. it is because this apartment is a cave! it is dark aaaaaaaaalllll the time. whatever. i will work on it.

so i have finally gotten it through my head that eating decently and exercise is the only way to be. no magical pill or diet is going to actually keep weight off and healthify me. i have to change my lifestyle people! or person. i am convinced that chelsie and jt are the only people that read this. hello chels and jt.

anyway. i am going to get dressed and maybe go outside. who knows. i doubt it. its cold out there and i only have my thin-ass yellow jacket.

chels----a blog comment is a binding contract legally obligating you to come down here and hang out with me before the end of the calendar year. just so you know!

i STILL didnt watch the life aquatic! all of our towels are still dirty! YEASH! i did knit like it was going out of style! you know thats true. it isnt going out of style.....right? no idea. i did make a fancy dinner. not really as fancy as i thought it was going to be. in fact, not so much fancy as it was cheese filled. i am talking cheesetastically cheese covered. we went to the hippie grocery store down the street because they have the fancy cheese i wanted to use and said "hey, lets get some hippie chicken and hippie broccoli here so we don't have to go to yet another store!" so we got some hippie organic chicken and some hippie broccoli to go with the fancy cheese. seriously, i am going to quote jt here and say "you get what you pay for" because this chicken kicked so much ass. it was not that much more than regular people chicken in all honesty. we also got some hippie pimento cheese for me to have for lunch tomorrow. i am pretty excited about it. in fact i am going to down a couple of tylenol pms so i can hurry and go to sleep so tomorrow will get here "faster" and i can have a pimento cheese sandwich. mmmmm, good plan.

this blanket i am making will officially be half finished tomorrow. it sucks that i just learned to fuse the ends together when i am started a new ball o' yarn and this half looks like i 3 year old made it. the other half will be flawless and i will be able to live with the imperfections because of how comfortable it is going to be. i will make one for you if you want to cough up the 8$ a skein that this bad boy costs. i dont want to talk about that part. again, you get what you pay for.

i am bouncing off the walls if you cant tell. i am getting cabin fever!

i really get irritated with people putting their politics in my face. especially when i don't agree with what they stand for and it physically makes me ill to think about what they are promoting. it is really scary how strongly people feel about certain issues and how black and white they make it seem. i am secure in my opinions and i may be baffled by how people think but i would try my best not to call them wrong. even though they are. HA! just kidding, think your thoughts over there, away from me, and we will be okay. nothing is worse than someone trying to convert people into thier way of thinking. there is a fine line between informing and forcing your opinion on someone. so i just looked into my political compass. it makes me smile that i share the same general views as the dalai lama, nelson mandela, and gandhi. i doubt any of those guys would say "gimme some of those fuckin chips!" like i just did, but it is still better than being in the same general area as hilter. yeash. that would be embarassing.

it is sad when you work out just to warm up. it is cold in here. i refuse to turn the heat on. the heat in this apartment scares me. i am not sure where it comes from. there are dials here and there on the walls but no vents. it just doesnt seem consistant enough for my taste. plus this place is a fire waiting to happen. i think methusela lived here at some point.

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i just spent 15 minutes watching adam ant videos. yeash, i was in love with him when i was 11 or 12.

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jt is going the sam's tonight so they can hold hands while they watch veronica mars. i am taking this time to make a fancy dinner for myself, and pretty much do the things i said i was going to do the other dayand didnt. wash towels, knit, and watch the life aquatic.

i was trying to take a secret nap after work and i woke up to the sound of someone walking through the door. i was so scared that i froze. it was about 1:30 so i knew it wasnt jt, hence the freaking out. turns out that it was jt, picking up something to take back to a guy at work so my secret nap was busted wide open. that was the most exciting part of my day. other than walking home. i thought it was going to be terrible because it was cold and wet out but it was freaking great. salted caramel hot chocolate + walking home = lame, but great.

i am trying to force my friendship on a couple of people at work. i think it is working. i hate to say it but i still feel less than myself lately. its really weird. i feel like a 13 year old adult. weeeiiirrd. maybe it is because i am listening to the everybodyfields and they always make me feel meloncholy.

some things change, some things linger on

another day off! good stuff. this day includes: knitting on the blanket, thinking about making something different out of the dark blue woolish stuff i have in the closet, washing towels, watching the life aquatic, and maybe vacuuming. my talents are being wasted! i feel like i am kind of going backwards as far as my social skills go. asheville is the best and worst place to meet people i would say. plus there are a lot of crazies here. i dont mean "oh you! haha, you are so crazy!" i mean, "holy crap you are bananas ass crazy, go away because it is annoying".

aaaaaaanyway. i cant wait to get a winter coat.

day off today. it was pretty uneventful. my 'ugly betty' marathon continues and i am on my last disc of the second season. i may be ending my love of the show with this season because the thought of watching lindsay lohan in the third season makes me unhappy. dont get me wrong, i cried at the end of 'freaky friday' and i watched 'mean girls' for my love of tina fey but thats all the lohan i can stand. sad that it has to end that way. maybe i will come around.

other than that i pretty much did nothing. went to starbucks to pick up my tips and they were wonderful. i walked out of there feeling like a stripper with a pocket overflowing with one dollar bills wrapped in rubber bands. went to get some movies to entertain me whilst jt went on his man-date. i am going to put a load or 2 of laundry in, watch the last of ugly betty, knit a little bit, and top it off with an old lady workout. exciting!

i have been thinking about redoing the apartment to make some more room and make it feel less cluttered. i feel like it is going to be awesome. starting tomorrow i am getting all of the clothes we dont wear together and hopefully jt and i can get the closet in some sort of order and get it started. the end product will include a turning the whole apartment around, making the closet an entertainment system of sorts, getting 2 medium area rugs instead of 1 big ugly one, getting rid of the bookshelf, turning the desk around, putting up a divider, using the 2 hall closets for stuff other than junk storage, and hopefully putting some pictures and wall things up without jt thinking we are going to get kicked out for putting holes in the wall. they always find a way to keep the deposit anyway, might as well throw caution to the wind and hammer a nail or 2. oh, and also curtains. thats right people, we dont have curtains. i feel like we live in a dorm room or something. i didnt have curtains in bristol, maybe because it would have taken 7 bed sheets to cover the things. oh windows, how i miss you. i have gone a whole day at a time not knowing what it looks like outside. not having windows is no excuse for my hermit tendencies, i am just saying. maybe i am having trouble finding someone to hang out with because i listen to this song all the time:



this song used to come on at starbucks all the time for some reason and every time i would run to the back and say "really!??! i freaking love this song! i cant believe it!!!!!"

goodnight.

an episode of 'ugly betty' just made me cry! egad.

"do you really want to have this conversation?"

"i have no problem with sticking you! i will equalize you!"

chels--how do you not like 'forgetting sarah marshall'??? geez, it is the best! i am watching it for the millionth time right about now.

i am so much happier these days. work was sucking and doing things that suck for many hours a day really brings the mood down. i worked for a whole 6 hours today. that was pretty exciting. nothing major happened but i made myself not only walk to work, but also walk back. that and my old lady workouts are not rocking my cardio world but i feel like less of a fatty. today was also a day without soda and i can feel it in my brain. ugh. i am trying not to message jt and ask him to stop at the ol sonic drink stop to get me an ocean water. it would make my day that much better but i know i dont need it. charlie cant just get a 12 oz. drink and let it go, charlie needs a rt. 44 light ice.

hey, we went to the six flags last weekend. pretty pretty pretty.....pretty exciting. the highlight being domnoes pizza afterwords. man, that was some great pizza. the lowest part of the evening was haunted nights. i love to be scared. its fun. i get it. i have no idea why i try to get away from something i love so much. i was so excited when i found out that employees dressed as zombies and the like were going to be freely walking the six flags. my excitement left as soon as i saw one. i freaked the hell out! my head darted around non stop after that, looking for a haunted person. half of me wanted to see one so bad! the other half was hoping that i never saw one again. other than that it was a fun time.

this cracks me up:



oh boy, that is the goods.

speaking of the goods and things that are the opposite of it. i am getting a little fired up about people and their political opinions. i just read a little something that someone posted and it made me want to call this person and say "REALLY?! really!?? are you really this stupid? REALLY?!?!?!!?!?!!?!?!!?!?!?!!!!!!" i think that if you are going to post something, you should really get the facts. i could and really want to go on about it but i have learned that you should never talk religion or politics. geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sarah marshall. how i love you movie! you cool my jets movie!

i am so happy to not be at work!

i had an intense need to listen to "i'm on fire" by bruce spingsteen and i gave into that need. it was great.

this morning i looked in the mirror to see what the day after haircut looked like and what it said to me was "hey, jennifer anniston called and wants her 90's hair back".

guess who got a haircut today?! me! it has elevated my self esteem to dangerous heights. i felt aweful going in because jt was sick all night and into the morning and since it was raining, he drove me into town. mostly likely almost puking the whole way. it took a over an hour and i got to watch this crazy kid behind me getting a haircut and on the other side i got to see his mother reacting to her wackity ass kid. hilarious. i would say he was about 10 and something happened with his hair involving fire. hilarious. i wish i knew the whole story. all i know is that he said "the smell of burned hair never goes away and the smell of fire never leaves your hair, that i can say for a fact!". hilarious. he was making weird faces the whole time and then he would smile a little too big not to be crazy. then he would kick his shoes off on the sly and slither down mid cut to put them back on. i am sure he thought that the woman cutting his hair was none the wiser. it was the greatest thing to watch. his mom was just as proud as a peach of this kid. good for them. i decribed the kid to jt as being a typical downtown upper class ashevillian kid. i dont even know what that means or if it is typical but that is what i imagine them to be like. anyway. i am happy to have hair that does not look gross and i am happy that i didnt have to work this morning. more good news is that i dont have to work at target for the rest of the week because he got someone to cover my shifts. the only thing that bothered me was when i said "uhg, thanks for covering that for me, i just couldn't do it!" and he said "well, it could have been done (talking about my 70 hour work week), you just couldn't do it." i am well aware it can be done, i have done it. if i didnt hate it so much, i would have happily gone in and worked the hell out of this week. whatever dude, i have my mornings off and a great haircut.

i am going to work. i am going to do an old lady workout when i get home because i dont have to wake up early! yay!

jacket on, jacket off

well. i hate to say it but i called in again today. it is my last full week and i called in. i would say that it is not like me to do that but i think it really is, i just dont do it at starbucks. even on my sickest day i dont call in there. if i am sick, i go in, cry in private about how crappy i feel, tough it out, go home at my scheduled time. the couple of other jobs i have had in the past i may have called in. actually, at the officey job i had, i drove around the building for 10 minutes and quit from the red light outside. it was the same feeling of "egad, if i have to even smell that place i am going to freak out!".

lets not talk about it anymore. if i get fired there, i would celebrate. no joke. i need to go to school. thats all there is too it. right now i just need to watch forgetting sarah marshall again, eat some chips and cheese, and do my old lady workout. i have switched from a secret workout to an old lady workout. let me just tell you, walking and kicking in place is hard.

made of honor. yeash. i can't even watch it. i am just peeking every now and again just to see if they get together in the end. there is an attractive guy during the dinner scene towards, what i am assuming will be, the wedding. i also didn't vacuum. i was really excited about it but now i am full of the casserole i made and i really can't move. now i am listening to some fleetwood mac, fleet foxes, and some jay-z, drinking a cherry coke, and knitting a 5 rows every 20 minutes or so. it is pretty freaking great. what i mean by that is, I AM LONELY! seriously, i need some friends something aweful. if it were not so late, i would call someone.

aaaaaaaaaaanyway, pity party over.

i made up the bed with the new cheap sheets and comforter and i am so excited to sleep tonight. that is really sad but it's true.

one more thing about my vacuum. i am naming it tony stark because it looks just like iron man.

guess who only has 1.2 jobs? ME! i am only working sundays at the target now. the only bad part will be the next 2 weeks. i am working close to 70 hours this week and next week. i am going to be nuts tired but it will be the last time.

in other news, we finally got a vacuum cleaner today. an actual vacuum cleaner. not a glorified dustbuster. a full sized, attatchments included, bagless, sucky sucky vacuum cleaner that i am going to love using after i type this up. i just used it on a 3 feet by the feet section and the dirt that it got up is insane. and makes me feel shame. once more thing about this vacuum. okay, 2. it has a self cleaning duster and wall cleaner attatchment! woohoo!

i also got a comforter for $12. i love things on sale.

since it is man-date night, i am making an insane brocolli/chicken/cheese/hasbrown casserole, vacumming, and watching made of honor and run fatboy, run. good night ahead! for fun times like this, just come on down!

i am going to put my 2 weeks in tomorrow. i honestly cannot work there through the holidays. i wanted to tough it out till after the new year because i know retail is bananas around this time. i just don't see it happening that way. after not giving a rat pile about not going in because of the gas things, i realized that i don't have to be there. it is not nessesary for me to have 2 jobs the way it was this summer. now that i have regular hours at starbucks i have no reason to stay there. i also remembered that i can leave, i am not going to be struck down just because i quit. i know i can't just stop showing up and be a jerk about it, which is kind of what i am doing by using ashevilles gas problem as an excuse not to go in. i am handing in my 2 weeks and i am done with it! i am sure it is a great company to work for and i am sure there are people in this particular store that love to work there, just not me. plus i have 30+ hours at charlotte street and there is no way i could work almost 70 hours a week. i am crazy as it is, without overworking myself. so it's final, 2 weeks from tomorrow i will hopefully have only one job and it's a job i don't hate going to. YAY!

so true, so true

still no cracky gold to be found. there are a few places that have it but the car is so empty it wont make it there. i am very proud of jt for getting up and riding the public bus this morning. i was so shocked! today is an honest day off for me. i woke up later than a teenager and i am eating half of a muffin loaf i made last night. and coffee. its a great morning. err, afternoon. i kept having dreams about riding the bus. there is a 99% chance that i too will be relying on public trasportation tommorrow and i am not excited about it. jt drove my car a couple of nights ago and hopefully it will be in working order in a couple of weeks. to work and back order.

not a lot going on lately. asheville is out of gas. that is the most exciting thing as of late. i mean, completely out of gas. we called in to work for lack of gas. could i have gotten a ride from a target team member? probably. could i have caught the bus? oh yes, definitely. my enthusiasm for the work i do there is less than i can describe. now that i am getting more hours at starbucks i am even less concerned. we all know where my loyalties are! i am just so much happier there. i am going through this weird life crisis right now. actually, its more of a life crisis light. a very mild version of an actual real life situation. maybe it is the lack of gas. or as we called it at work last night, cracky gold. after hearing the same word over and over it looses any meaning. if one more person came in and asked "hey, where can a body get some gas around here?" i was going to scream. they would order a drink, pay, come over to me to wait for their drink and say, "so....what do you think about this whole gas thing? crazy huh?". my favorite reply was "what gas thing?". they would either feel bad for me because i was obviously out of it or they would get annoyed because i was being smart assy.
when i called in i had to talk to the security person. it was frustrating because she could care less why i was calling in. i was explaining that we were stranded (an extreme term, sorry) and i could not come in. so she says "basically you are not coming in....so i am just writing down that you are not coming in". the 'fraidy cat in me started whining about how i was not calling in per say, as much as i just COULD NOT come in. then i remembered that i didnt care and let it go.
with this bonus day off i am doing nothing. i slept till 11:30, watched some mighty boosh, ate 2 hotdogs, now i am watching "the fall" which it one of the best looking movies i have ever seen. after this movie i am doing a secret workout, talking a shower, and maybe thinking about walking to starbucks to get a vivanno. after that, who knows! jt called out of work as well but since we have the computer in the kitchen and in the main room, we havnt talked much today. weird how that works out.

i am updating 2 days in a row! exciting! working was not that terrible this morning. it is all in who you have to be around i guess. and who you dont have to be around. i have tomorrow off and since jt will be at work i plan to clean like a mother bitch. that is a might boosh reference. i am glad we have 3 seasons of that madness, it makes me happy. so. after my hardcore secret workout i was feeling pretty good and i was also thinking "man, i am glad that is over...why am i doing this?" then i looked at all of the galinburg pictures and said "oh yeah, thats why!". its weird how i think of myself one way and reality is completely different.

nothing else happened today and i dont have anything to complain about. i napped forever this afternoon and it really makes the rest of the night feel strange. i asked jt to wake me up after 45 minutes and 3 hours later i woke up on my own....not a happy camper. now he is out with sam and i am watching "guitar town" as many times as i can in a row.

"you must suffer and cry for a longer time"

why am i not updating everyday?! i am shocking myself with my lack of updates. nothing really going on, working at lot, trying not to hate working at the morning place...i think i just hate the general feeling there. ANYWAY. moving on. i didnt feel like cooking and i didnt feel like eating one of the three dishes jt can cook, so we went out to eat at the cheddars. we live in a city (hmmmmm is asheville a city? a small city i would say. a smity. something between a town and a city....a tity. HA! a tity. that is hilarious) that has some of the best places to eat and we go to the freakin cheddars. a place that gets worse and worse every time i go there. i got a steak that i am pretty sure they microwaved, then threw some lighter fluid on it to give it that "just grilled" flavor. i say this and make it sound terrible but we all know i ate the hell out of it. yeash. i bought a scale today and i am hoping it will motivate me. another motivation is seeing a chart that said i was a pound away from being that shoulder-down shot that you see on the news that goes along with the story "millions of obese americans....." and you think, man, they have no idea they are being filmed because i am guessing if the film crew said "will you sign this release, we want to put your fat ass on tv to warn people", they would say no. if it is just the shoulders down, no one will recognize you? is that the case? i would know if it were me and i would cry.

i have watched dwight yoakum's "things change" 3 times in a row and i honestly cant get enough. weird. i would karaoke that too. good lord, i love dwight yoakum. i would say that he is my celebrity out. geez, just fast forward to 3:45...



i just wrestled jts celebrity out....out. of. him. poorly constructed sentence there. sorry. anyway, his is diane lane. pretty good choice i would say.


i should go to bed.

i just got back from a happy fun time with roxanne and angie. it took me a while to get my energy level up. work saps me and drains any emotion out of me and it takes me a while to get over it. i bought a cup that looks like a plain starbucks cup but its really ceramic with a silicone lid. i cant wait to use it tomorrow. i also bought an octopus necklace that i have been looking at forever. i dont wear necklaces. not since highschool when i wore at least 3 at a time. i stopped wearing jewelry and makeup altogether after highschool. weird how that works out. anyway, i will wear this one. we ate at barley's and i have to say that it kind of sucked. our server was not great, the food was so-so and we had screamers behind us.

i really want to use this cup. it is killing me to wait.

i forgot to talk about one of the best things that happened last week. jt likes at least 2 avett brothers songs! i remember when we first got together i was at the height of my avett brothers loving. i tried to get him to listen to it. he never said much but i found out later he was most likely miserable. aaaanyway, in the middle of my hell week, i took emotionalism to the car to listen to on the way to work because it helps me not want to punch things. he told me later that he listened it it without my being in the car and he can sing all of "the weight of lies". it is pretty much the greatest breakthrough in our relationship.

on another note, since the gatlinburg trip i have been thinking about what song i would sing if i were forced to karaoke. chels and dee really tore it up and made it seem fun to sing in public. i came to the conclusion that i would sing this:



and i would try to do the hand moves that she is breaking out as well. i remember when rich let me borrow a kirsty maccoll cd. i listened to this song a million times. i cant find it anywhere so i just youtube the hell out it. sad that she died.

jt is on a date with sam, watching veronica mars and tickling each other....so i am watching a lot of youtube crap, have grey's anatomy going in the living room, and the simpsons on the computer in the kitchen. i need a lot of entertainment. every 6 feet i need something different. oh i forgot that i was watching "baby momma" on this computer before i felt the need to talk about jt's car singing. why is there a computer in the kitchen? he brought one home from work to tinker with. mostly i am using it for background noise while i am washing dishes.

i called out of work today. i was so miserable yesterday. at three points throughout the day i wanted to leave. my call in was pathetic. mostly because i never ever call in. that time i was sick last month....other than that i DO NOT CALL IN. the thought of going in made me want to kick something. i basically said "i am not coming in today....okay? sorry. maybe i will come in later. get sorted out...but i am not coming in....now. okay?"

i work very little at starbucks the next couple of weeks so i have to trudge through this retail swamp of sadness. yes, that was a neverending story reference. i love that movie so much.

so. i am not working today and i feel no guilt about it. the worst that they could do is also the best thing. ugh. i am sitting at home watching "the mighty boosh", "kenny vs. spenny", and maybe i will watch a little "mad men". i also have a new book to read and a new vacuum to use. the possibilities are endless!!!!

so, a couple of days ago, i made a little joke about the chupacabra living upstairs. it sounded like a 300 pound clawed beast was pacing a circle at the door of the apartment upstairs and i said "geez, what the hell is that? the chupacabra??". it got a good laugh and i was really proud of myself. just a few minutes ago, i heard it again and i pictured it being the goat eating mythical creature and i freaked myself out so badly that i actually squealed a little bit. it was a squeal/laugh and maybe i did a little shiver/run in place move. in reality, it is just someones dog, maybe needing to be let out. yeash, it is so scary to think about though.

today is a whole day off for me and i could stand to have another. as i was telling jt, the reason for a 40 hour work week is simple...the body does not want to work any more than that. after 40 you just shut down and auto-pilot the rest of the work that you force yourself to do. you can tell when i hit my limit because i start to get snappy and weepy. i also start doing stupid things. i made a drink last night and instead of calling it out and handing it to the person that bought it, i turned around and put it on the counter behind me. i was working at the biltmore store so i blamed it on the strange work environment. the truth is, i was trudging through work hour #62 and my body was not in any way connected with my brain. hey, i know lots of people work lots more than i do i am just speaking for myself here. i shut down after 30 hours of work a week in all honestly. everything else is just me floating around in a misery haze. from here on out is pretty normal. in a week or 3 i have to start limiting my hours at target in order to get more at the ol starbucks where i am a million times more content. i have more to say about my placed of employment but i will leave it at that.

with my day off i have done little to nothing. we went to world market and got some candy. then we went to the target that i dont work at and i got so disoriented and uncomfortable that i almost flew into a panic attack. everything was so familier, yet completely backwards. strange. plus i dont like shopping there anymore. going to target used to be a fun thing for me. nothing to do? hey! lets go to target! now it is the last place i want to be. aaaaanyway. i still bought a robe. robes are so weird to wear. when jt gets home i am thinking we should go see a movie. lots of good things are out. by lots i mean 3.

oh my, i hate it when people on the internet say "om nom nom nom" in reference to delicious food. it makes me want to knock thier food over and ask if it is still nom nom. geeeeeez. i have a lot of hate withen me. actually i would not say hate, i am just particularly sensitive to picking up on annoying crap and then complaining about it.

it also annoys me when poeple say or do certain things when they know other people are withen earshot just because they want attention, a bad reaction, or praise. i will give you 2 examples. a mom was at the "you know where...the place i work in the morning" with her kid...around 2 years old i would say, and she says to him (in that annoying voice that says 'i dont spank!') "sweety, now which one do you want, animal crackers or fruit snacks?" and the kids gives her an answer and she asks him "okay honey, what flavor would you like? berries or tropical?" and he says berries. she looks over at me and gives me this look, smile, and a head shake that says "what can ya do? my kid is a genius!!!!!!" i couldnt even react because i didnt want to satisfy her. another example from later on in the evening: this couple came in and the woman says to they guy "oh! i found my cell phone!" he asks where and she says "you know my witchcraft table? it was on there!" and she looks at me like "yeah, i have a witchcraft table, i am so different and awesome that you cant comprehend it because it is beyond you....yet i want to impress you." that was what the look said to me. i hope the look that i gave her back says "hey, #1, i am not in the 6th grade anymore so i am not impress with your witchcraftery. #2, you look like you just got out of the meth clinic and you have a purse from 1993. #3, you just came in 9 minutes after we closed and are making my night really suck so get the heck out!"

alright. have to go to walmart now.
i really hope all of that got in there.

well hello there. i havn't updated this bad boy in a while. i had a really great week. i am lying. everything after friday was pretty great. friday was payday for both jt and i and it could not have happened at a better time. the summer of finacial crappiness is over and i could not have been happier. to say more would be rude but suffice to say that we are less stressed and all is well. not to say that money solves everything but it certainly solved any issues i have had the past month or so.

jt is out tonight and i am using my alone time to do lots of laundry and do some secret workouts on my new balance ball. chelsie suggested i get one that relates to my height and i took that advice. it seems small in comparison to the mammoth i had before.

i really dont have much to talk about.

i should have updated about the gatlinburg trip as soon as i got back! i will just say that it is just what i needed, minus the group dressing room. and minus annoying girls with whistles. more later, we have to get dinner!

geeeeeeeeeeez

oooooo i hate you internet! you know what you did! why the hell did you let me do that?!

i am over it. really i am.

anyway. i have had the whole morning and early afternoon off and i could not be happier about it. i really needed a sleep that was longer than 6 hours. hey, some people can go on that. i can't. i am unhealthy to the point that i need 10 to function properly. if case you havnt figured it out, our operation eatin' good has stopped for a while. mostly because i cant put that much thought into it. why cook something tasty and good for you when you can eat 3 hot pockets and 32 oz. of soda? the good news is that i am still somehow losing weight thanks to work.

speaking of things that make me SICK. i hate the earth and talk of saving it. people are ruining the color green for me. i also hate when people have a crapload of stuff and they say "oooooooo ooooo! i dont need a plastic bag! save the earth!" when they leave i throw away a handful. just kidding i dont really do that. i think about it. just save the earth and dont tell me about it. it really does not impress me that you use your own cup. its not that i dont believe that the world is "rolling downhill like a snowball headin' for heeell" (mmmm i like that song) but i hate that everyone is either making money off of it or putting on airs that they are single handedly saving the planet and everyone else is a jackhole. i had someone refuse a bag and in a low whisper say to me "one at a time.....all it takes is one at a time". i was like "sheesh? is this really happening?" because it was the funniest thing i have ever been a part of. get over yourself asheville! the snobbery here is astronomical.

who says "blue jeans" anymore? jt just did and i was like "hmmm.....what?!"

hilarious.

i would give a reasonable amount of money to hear langhorne slim sing "rocket queen" by guns-n-roses. that is no lie. oh goodness, that would make my life. i would like it to be heavy on the banjo if possible. should i be talking about this out loud?

i want to listen to the chorus of this song all day everyday. today was so freaking long and i am glad to be going to bed. i am off at noon tomorrow and i actually have the rest of the day off. i am pretty excited.

i have little to nothing to talk about but i feel like i should update everyday.

one of the greatest things in the world is happening. "five guys" opened in asheville and jt is on his way to get us the best cheese burger and fries ever. i am excited because it also means i dont have to cook and i can just nap till he gets here. then eat. then nap again till it is time for starbucks work.

also, i think i the mole i have on my ring finger of my left hand is messed up. it is red and feels weird. that leads me to believe something bad is going on and i should have it checked out. the thought of having some sort of potentially harmful thing removed from my body makes me want to faint. i just looked up "inflamed moles" and it is making me all paranoid. plus i really like this mole a lot and the thought of being without it makes me really sad. i had a cute mole on my shoulder and it is all tattooed over now. after the last tattoo session i went hunting for it and cried when i saw it was covered. literally....cried. we'll see.

oh, i cant wait to have this delicious cheeseburger! so happy!

i am thinking of starting a book club. i talked about it with a starbucks person yesterday and i think it is a possibility. 2 rules being that it cant take place at starbucks and little to no work talk allowed.

someone took a poop all over the target bathrooms today. oh the shame they must feel. i didnt know what happened at first and i was just saying to anyone and everyone that i work with "please please please tell me when you know what happened!" because even the security guy was over there accessing the situation and i thought an ambulance was in the works. extreme bowel distress going on at target.

i cant think about anything else other than cheeseburgers and my finger cancer. forgive me.

thank you and goodnight

the times, they are pretty good. i worked all freaking day long today.

jt just screamed from the kitchen "ah so much chicken!" and it was pretty funny.

anyway. target was targety. i clocked in, i put things away and opened and broke down so many boxes that my hands want to revolt and go into hiding. i hate cardboard. nothing really funny or exciting happened. something exciting was waiting in the mail from target when i came home. it was a letter from dave, the store lead manager that says "charlie, great job! you have been recognized as a top performer!". i am really excited about it. i like praise. it makes me feel like dancin.

it smells like burning. jt is cooking and i feel like its not going his way.........yeah, i just checked and the kitchen is smoky and the chicken is black. ugh. i dont care because after working 14+ hours, the thought of cooking makes me want to be sick all over the place. oh lord is smells so bad in here. have i mentioned it is 10:30? sheesh. i am happy he is trying.

anyway. after target i went to starbucks and nothing really happened there either. now i am here and waiting to have some dinner. i am hoping we get to bed before 11 or 1130 because 530a comes really early.

just ride the feelin' as long as it lasts

goodness. my favorite song right now is "sweet lovin' friends" by Dolly Parton & Sylvester Stallone. yeah, i copied and pasted their names, so what? this song makes my mood elevate. i remember watching the movie "rhinestone" constantly when i was little. i would love to own the whole soundtrack and listen to it all day everyday. i just found "woke up in love" from said soundtrack. pretty much my second favorite.

maybe i just youtubed some justin theroux. who knows?

if it is not obvious enough by my choice of videos, i am off from target today and jt is back to work. i dont have to work till 6 tonight! i am pretty excited about it.

good day

i missed a call from starbucks this morning! i am actually sad that i am not working today. it was a short 4 hour shift. in the midst of the messages from work and jerry was a message from janna banana! i got a little teary eyed. i have to call her. i need to call lots of people that i miss. i am a phone chicken. i am always afraid that they will be in the middle of something important and maybe they wont want to tell me and i am just going to be an annoyance. its odd how strong the feeling is.

he wore his passion for his woman like a thorny crown

yeash, is everyone aware of my love for dwight yoakam? if i had to list my celebrity crushes he would be in the top 3. i am not sure who would be above or below that. 80s era paul simon would also be on the list somewhere.

nothing going on today. i went to work an hour early to help unload stuff. it was really not that bad. the day went by pretty quickly. came home, took a 3 hour nap, woke up, ate hotdogs, now i am sitting here watching a million dwight yoakam videos. not a bad day.

so. jt did a some cleaning earlier. mostly he folded some clothes and layed them all over the bed. just a minute ago i wanted to just lie down and read the rest of "breaking dawn". i remember all the crap all over the bed and asked jt to fix it. then this gem happened:

me: you made the mess!
him: i made a neat!

something like that. it was really funny at the time. i mean, reaaally funny.

now he is heading out to get some candy that we dont need. earlier the idea of a candy bowl popped into his head and he said "yeah like we need it, fat as we are......i mean.........as i am?" i wanted to punch him 10 minutes into the future. uhg.

gross stuff ahead, dont read it if you are eating!

phew, i was so sick yesterday. i was sick enough to call into work, if that tells you anything. i can count on one hand how many times i have called into work. if someone called and said "charlie, your job depends on your being here today", i would have had to get fired because the thought of going to work made me throw up even more than i was already. the thought of even putting on clothes made me sick. i was running around in a towel throwing up on everything. it was kind of nice to be sick when there was another person around. getting sick when you live alone is the worst. you just have to suffer alone. plus you dont have anyone to go out at 5 in the morning to get you a gatorade to replenish the precious fluids you are spewing from who knows where. you also cant have that person get all the way home and have them go out again for midol. i had though about going in to work, throwing up somewhere public and obvious, and getting sent home. i am so afraid people thinking i have a crappy work ethic. i didnt care yesterday and called straight from the bathroom floor. i think i scared jt because i am a violent vomiter and i cry the whole time. i cant describe how awful it sounds. oh boy, i wanted to type "awful" and i kept typing "awesome". that is hilarious and i love myself for it. anyway, back to the sick time. i was sick sick sick and then i gave it one last sicky sick hurl right in the living room then collapsed on the couch for a couple of hours. THEN i woke up and ate a piece of toast, watched the last few episodes of californication, and read "breaking dawn" for many hours. i only have a little bit left to read but i am trying to make it last a little bit. i will most likely finish it tonight because some crazy stuff is happening.

so that is my sick time. i cursed jt because he didnt throw up when he had the tummy shame. he held up a lot better than i did.

moving on. i went to work today and i thought that people would be mad at me for not being there yesterday. but hey, guess what? target went on without me. unlike starbucks, when one person calls out, the store can function just as well. even when people don't call out at starbucks it still feels like we are short a person or 2. maybe because there are not 200 people on staff. not that this means i am going to make a habit of calling in.

at any rate. roxanne and angie are coming to asheville tomorrow! yaaaaaaaaaaay!

do you suppose that i would come runnin'

poor jt. got a little tummy shame sickness. uhg, i hate that he is not feeling well. i am taking care of him from a safe distance. i hope i dont start feeling bad. as much as i try to be a functioning sick person, i dont think i would work the way i am supposed to whilst wanting to throw up in a box full of bamboo sheet sets. lucky that he doesnt go back to work for another week! last time i had any kind of illness, i cried at work all day. that is no joke. anyone remember that?

speaking of illness, i have some weird thing on my foot that is creeping me out. it doesnt look like something that is about to ooze or some sort of gross thing. you cant even actually see anything, it just feels. uhg, i hope i dont have to have my foot amputated. if that ever happens i will ask them to just take it off at the knee so i can get a pirate leg or one of those moon boot type situations.

work has been borderline awesome lately. i like the new target situation. the day goes by quickly, i know what i am doing. either you are doing it or you are not, there is no good or bad. either you finish your tasks and get everything ready to go out onto the floor or you dont. the end. i know most of the full time people there and i feel more comfortable. i am not 100% myself but i havnt been 100% outside of home in a while. actually i hadnt been even bearable to be around until i started enjoying work more. the last few days of working hardlines at target were really difficult. the ride to work was almost a tear-fest. i wasnt happy just going to work and mindlessly straightening crap and not seeing another human to talk to unless someone needed to know where the ziploc bags were. now i am happy at work and it is making me happier all around. starbucks is also really great and i look forward to my 2-3 days working there. i like the full time people and since i am not there all day everyday i can honestly say that i enjoy the whole shift i am there.

times are good.

plus since ol' sick jt has been reading "breaking dawn" pretty much all day he is almost finished with it. i cant wait to read it. i read about 30 pages and i is just as good as the first and third one. i was not a huge huge fan of the second one. just because it too 3/4ths of the book for me to get into it. this new one is not getting the best reviews but to that i say "shut up poopy face!".

i ate 4 or 5 donuts today. since it was tax-free weekend and the store has been super busy we have been getting a lot of free food. fancy pizza, firehouse subs, and today we got 10 dozen donuts. white frosting with green sprinkles really won me over and i kept one in my had whenever possible. did i mention i had to wake up at 330a? started work at 4 and the day pretty much sped by. always good.

uhg, if i get sick i am going to beat the crap out of someone.

a few tid bits from today:

-i woke up feeling awesome and well rested.....it was odd. maybe it was from watching a mini marathon of our new favorite show, californication and the party liquor before bed. womerns likes that.
-when i got to work i pretty much kicked it into high gear and finished my pre-11am tasks an hour early. i then got called back to my boss's office where he said (with a serious look that said "i mean business"), "charlie, do you like working with this team?" and i thought i was in trouble and almost burst into tears. i said "yes" and he said "well, we love having you" and gave me a copy of "breaking dawn" which just came out today. it was the best welcome present ever. when i sat down for my second break i looked around and saw 3 people reading it was well. a guy had it sitting next to him and he patted it when i looked over. we shared the "i know whats up" look.
-it is 7:47 pm and i am heading to bed. i have to wake up at 3:30 am.

goodnight.

huzzah

i like that all of the new comments are from 6 am. thats just weird and possibly incorrect. the "is there life out there" video really makes me cringe at the part when reba says "what have you done?!". you know what i am talking about.

chels----take some pictures of your home and email them to me. seriously.

i have nothing to say today but i have to update. target is target, starbucks is starbucks. i got my first "full" paycheck with my previous pay and i honestly looked at it and said "really?". i feel like i have done a million dollars worth of work. maybe with the new pay rate it will be a little better. plus i get time and half on sundays since i have to be there at 4am. i thought it would be awesome to be there before the place was opened and after we closed. its really not as awesome as you would think. i also thought the walkie talkies would be more entertaining. think again.

i forgot to say that robin came over for 45 minutes the other day. it was the greatest. it was also the day i thought i was having a heart attack but it was really just really terrible gas. it was the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.


the 4th book in the twilight series is coming out tonight. shew.

the end.

oh my

i abused youtube tonight. i honestly tore it a new one. i used youtubed as if i was never going to see it again. it was not a proud time. i listened to "copperhead road" 3 times. something is wrong with me. i have to wake up super early tomorrow and i am not in the bed.

the first thing i do when jt leaves for his tuesday man-date, i listen to "too cold at home" by mark chestnutt. i love that song so much and i feel like i have to be alone to enjoy it.

i worked at the starbucks today. it was my day off but i honestly wanted to work there so badly i practically jumped through the phone when denise called to ask if i would cover a shift. when i got a call this morning to see if i would come in even earlier i said "YES PLEASE!" and worked a whole shift. uhg, it was just as great as i had hoped. people i thought hated me and always cried "ohh this sucks they haaate me" are people that no one gives a crap about anyway and who cares? and the people that i actually look forward to working with and are not terrible people enjoy my company as well. the day was pretty wonderful and i hate that i am only there 12 hours a week.

i start the new stuff at the target tomorrow. to quote a fellow "team member" he said that, "it is pretty much the sweetest gig target offers" and i hope it is the truth. i am not loving folding the same towel every day. the new position does not involve folding crap at all. oh boy. i am excited. plus i think the people on this particular team are pretty awesome.

just so everyone knows i am listening to "is there life out there" by reba McEntire and i am enjoying it like you would not believe.

uhg, i just remembered i have to go to bed.