made of honor. yeash. i can't even watch it. i am just peeking every now and again just to see if they get together in the end. there is an attractive guy during the dinner scene towards, what i am assuming will be, the wedding. i also didn't vacuum. i was really excited about it but now i am full of the casserole i made and i really can't move. now i am listening to some fleetwood mac, fleet foxes, and some jay-z, drinking a cherry coke, and knitting a 5 rows every 20 minutes or so. it is pretty freaking great. what i mean by that is, I AM LONELY! seriously, i need some friends something aweful. if it were not so late, i would call someone.

aaaaaaaaaaanyway, pity party over.

i made up the bed with the new cheap sheets and comforter and i am so excited to sleep tonight. that is really sad but it's true.

one more thing about my vacuum. i am naming it tony stark because it looks just like iron man.

guess who only has 1.2 jobs? ME! i am only working sundays at the target now. the only bad part will be the next 2 weeks. i am working close to 70 hours this week and next week. i am going to be nuts tired but it will be the last time.

in other news, we finally got a vacuum cleaner today. an actual vacuum cleaner. not a glorified dustbuster. a full sized, attatchments included, bagless, sucky sucky vacuum cleaner that i am going to love using after i type this up. i just used it on a 3 feet by the feet section and the dirt that it got up is insane. and makes me feel shame. once more thing about this vacuum. okay, 2. it has a self cleaning duster and wall cleaner attatchment! woohoo!

i also got a comforter for $12. i love things on sale.

since it is man-date night, i am making an insane brocolli/chicken/cheese/hasbrown casserole, vacumming, and watching made of honor and run fatboy, run. good night ahead! for fun times like this, just come on down!

i am going to put my 2 weeks in tomorrow. i honestly cannot work there through the holidays. i wanted to tough it out till after the new year because i know retail is bananas around this time. i just don't see it happening that way. after not giving a rat pile about not going in because of the gas things, i realized that i don't have to be there. it is not nessesary for me to have 2 jobs the way it was this summer. now that i have regular hours at starbucks i have no reason to stay there. i also remembered that i can leave, i am not going to be struck down just because i quit. i know i can't just stop showing up and be a jerk about it, which is kind of what i am doing by using ashevilles gas problem as an excuse not to go in. i am handing in my 2 weeks and i am done with it! i am sure it is a great company to work for and i am sure there are people in this particular store that love to work there, just not me. plus i have 30+ hours at charlotte street and there is no way i could work almost 70 hours a week. i am crazy as it is, without overworking myself. so it's final, 2 weeks from tomorrow i will hopefully have only one job and it's a job i don't hate going to. YAY!

so true, so true

still no cracky gold to be found. there are a few places that have it but the car is so empty it wont make it there. i am very proud of jt for getting up and riding the public bus this morning. i was so shocked! today is an honest day off for me. i woke up later than a teenager and i am eating half of a muffin loaf i made last night. and coffee. its a great morning. err, afternoon. i kept having dreams about riding the bus. there is a 99% chance that i too will be relying on public trasportation tommorrow and i am not excited about it. jt drove my car a couple of nights ago and hopefully it will be in working order in a couple of weeks. to work and back order.

not a lot going on lately. asheville is out of gas. that is the most exciting thing as of late. i mean, completely out of gas. we called in to work for lack of gas. could i have gotten a ride from a target team member? probably. could i have caught the bus? oh yes, definitely. my enthusiasm for the work i do there is less than i can describe. now that i am getting more hours at starbucks i am even less concerned. we all know where my loyalties are! i am just so much happier there. i am going through this weird life crisis right now. actually, its more of a life crisis light. a very mild version of an actual real life situation. maybe it is the lack of gas. or as we called it at work last night, cracky gold. after hearing the same word over and over it looses any meaning. if one more person came in and asked "hey, where can a body get some gas around here?" i was going to scream. they would order a drink, pay, come over to me to wait for their drink and say, "so....what do you think about this whole gas thing? crazy huh?". my favorite reply was "what gas thing?". they would either feel bad for me because i was obviously out of it or they would get annoyed because i was being smart assy.
when i called in i had to talk to the security person. it was frustrating because she could care less why i was calling in. i was explaining that we were stranded (an extreme term, sorry) and i could not come in. so she says "basically you are not coming in....so i am just writing down that you are not coming in". the 'fraidy cat in me started whining about how i was not calling in per say, as much as i just COULD NOT come in. then i remembered that i didnt care and let it go.
with this bonus day off i am doing nothing. i slept till 11:30, watched some mighty boosh, ate 2 hotdogs, now i am watching "the fall" which it one of the best looking movies i have ever seen. after this movie i am doing a secret workout, talking a shower, and maybe thinking about walking to starbucks to get a vivanno. after that, who knows! jt called out of work as well but since we have the computer in the kitchen and in the main room, we havnt talked much today. weird how that works out.

i am updating 2 days in a row! exciting! working was not that terrible this morning. it is all in who you have to be around i guess. and who you dont have to be around. i have tomorrow off and since jt will be at work i plan to clean like a mother bitch. that is a might boosh reference. i am glad we have 3 seasons of that madness, it makes me happy. so. after my hardcore secret workout i was feeling pretty good and i was also thinking "man, i am glad that is over...why am i doing this?" then i looked at all of the galinburg pictures and said "oh yeah, thats why!". its weird how i think of myself one way and reality is completely different.

nothing else happened today and i dont have anything to complain about. i napped forever this afternoon and it really makes the rest of the night feel strange. i asked jt to wake me up after 45 minutes and 3 hours later i woke up on my own....not a happy camper. now he is out with sam and i am watching "guitar town" as many times as i can in a row.

"you must suffer and cry for a longer time"

why am i not updating everyday?! i am shocking myself with my lack of updates. nothing really going on, working at lot, trying not to hate working at the morning place...i think i just hate the general feeling there. ANYWAY. moving on. i didnt feel like cooking and i didnt feel like eating one of the three dishes jt can cook, so we went out to eat at the cheddars. we live in a city (hmmmmm is asheville a city? a small city i would say. a smity. something between a town and a city....a tity. HA! a tity. that is hilarious) that has some of the best places to eat and we go to the freakin cheddars. a place that gets worse and worse every time i go there. i got a steak that i am pretty sure they microwaved, then threw some lighter fluid on it to give it that "just grilled" flavor. i say this and make it sound terrible but we all know i ate the hell out of it. yeash. i bought a scale today and i am hoping it will motivate me. another motivation is seeing a chart that said i was a pound away from being that shoulder-down shot that you see on the news that goes along with the story "millions of obese americans....." and you think, man, they have no idea they are being filmed because i am guessing if the film crew said "will you sign this release, we want to put your fat ass on tv to warn people", they would say no. if it is just the shoulders down, no one will recognize you? is that the case? i would know if it were me and i would cry.

i have watched dwight yoakum's "things change" 3 times in a row and i honestly cant get enough. weird. i would karaoke that too. good lord, i love dwight yoakum. i would say that he is my celebrity out. geez, just fast forward to 3:45...



i just wrestled jts celebrity out....out. of. him. poorly constructed sentence there. sorry. anyway, his is diane lane. pretty good choice i would say.


i should go to bed.

i just got back from a happy fun time with roxanne and angie. it took me a while to get my energy level up. work saps me and drains any emotion out of me and it takes me a while to get over it. i bought a cup that looks like a plain starbucks cup but its really ceramic with a silicone lid. i cant wait to use it tomorrow. i also bought an octopus necklace that i have been looking at forever. i dont wear necklaces. not since highschool when i wore at least 3 at a time. i stopped wearing jewelry and makeup altogether after highschool. weird how that works out. anyway, i will wear this one. we ate at barley's and i have to say that it kind of sucked. our server was not great, the food was so-so and we had screamers behind us.

i really want to use this cup. it is killing me to wait.

i forgot to talk about one of the best things that happened last week. jt likes at least 2 avett brothers songs! i remember when we first got together i was at the height of my avett brothers loving. i tried to get him to listen to it. he never said much but i found out later he was most likely miserable. aaaanyway, in the middle of my hell week, i took emotionalism to the car to listen to on the way to work because it helps me not want to punch things. he told me later that he listened it it without my being in the car and he can sing all of "the weight of lies". it is pretty much the greatest breakthrough in our relationship.

on another note, since the gatlinburg trip i have been thinking about what song i would sing if i were forced to karaoke. chels and dee really tore it up and made it seem fun to sing in public. i came to the conclusion that i would sing this:



and i would try to do the hand moves that she is breaking out as well. i remember when rich let me borrow a kirsty maccoll cd. i listened to this song a million times. i cant find it anywhere so i just youtube the hell out it. sad that she died.

jt is on a date with sam, watching veronica mars and tickling each other....so i am watching a lot of youtube crap, have grey's anatomy going in the living room, and the simpsons on the computer in the kitchen. i need a lot of entertainment. every 6 feet i need something different. oh i forgot that i was watching "baby momma" on this computer before i felt the need to talk about jt's car singing. why is there a computer in the kitchen? he brought one home from work to tinker with. mostly i am using it for background noise while i am washing dishes.

i called out of work today. i was so miserable yesterday. at three points throughout the day i wanted to leave. my call in was pathetic. mostly because i never ever call in. that time i was sick last month....other than that i DO NOT CALL IN. the thought of going in made me want to kick something. i basically said "i am not coming in today....okay? sorry. maybe i will come in later. get sorted out...but i am not coming in....now. okay?"

i work very little at starbucks the next couple of weeks so i have to trudge through this retail swamp of sadness. yes, that was a neverending story reference. i love that movie so much.

so. i am not working today and i feel no guilt about it. the worst that they could do is also the best thing. ugh. i am sitting at home watching "the mighty boosh", "kenny vs. spenny", and maybe i will watch a little "mad men". i also have a new book to read and a new vacuum to use. the possibilities are endless!!!!

so, a couple of days ago, i made a little joke about the chupacabra living upstairs. it sounded like a 300 pound clawed beast was pacing a circle at the door of the apartment upstairs and i said "geez, what the hell is that? the chupacabra??". it got a good laugh and i was really proud of myself. just a few minutes ago, i heard it again and i pictured it being the goat eating mythical creature and i freaked myself out so badly that i actually squealed a little bit. it was a squeal/laugh and maybe i did a little shiver/run in place move. in reality, it is just someones dog, maybe needing to be let out. yeash, it is so scary to think about though.

today is a whole day off for me and i could stand to have another. as i was telling jt, the reason for a 40 hour work week is simple...the body does not want to work any more than that. after 40 you just shut down and auto-pilot the rest of the work that you force yourself to do. you can tell when i hit my limit because i start to get snappy and weepy. i also start doing stupid things. i made a drink last night and instead of calling it out and handing it to the person that bought it, i turned around and put it on the counter behind me. i was working at the biltmore store so i blamed it on the strange work environment. the truth is, i was trudging through work hour #62 and my body was not in any way connected with my brain. hey, i know lots of people work lots more than i do i am just speaking for myself here. i shut down after 30 hours of work a week in all honestly. everything else is just me floating around in a misery haze. from here on out is pretty normal. in a week or 3 i have to start limiting my hours at target in order to get more at the ol starbucks where i am a million times more content. i have more to say about my placed of employment but i will leave it at that.

with my day off i have done little to nothing. we went to world market and got some candy. then we went to the target that i dont work at and i got so disoriented and uncomfortable that i almost flew into a panic attack. everything was so familier, yet completely backwards. strange. plus i dont like shopping there anymore. going to target used to be a fun thing for me. nothing to do? hey! lets go to target! now it is the last place i want to be. aaaaanyway. i still bought a robe. robes are so weird to wear. when jt gets home i am thinking we should go see a movie. lots of good things are out. by lots i mean 3.

oh my, i hate it when people on the internet say "om nom nom nom" in reference to delicious food. it makes me want to knock thier food over and ask if it is still nom nom. geeeeeez. i have a lot of hate withen me. actually i would not say hate, i am just particularly sensitive to picking up on annoying crap and then complaining about it.

it also annoys me when poeple say or do certain things when they know other people are withen earshot just because they want attention, a bad reaction, or praise. i will give you 2 examples. a mom was at the "you know where...the place i work in the morning" with her kid...around 2 years old i would say, and she says to him (in that annoying voice that says 'i dont spank!') "sweety, now which one do you want, animal crackers or fruit snacks?" and the kids gives her an answer and she asks him "okay honey, what flavor would you like? berries or tropical?" and he says berries. she looks over at me and gives me this look, smile, and a head shake that says "what can ya do? my kid is a genius!!!!!!" i couldnt even react because i didnt want to satisfy her. another example from later on in the evening: this couple came in and the woman says to they guy "oh! i found my cell phone!" he asks where and she says "you know my witchcraft table? it was on there!" and she looks at me like "yeah, i have a witchcraft table, i am so different and awesome that you cant comprehend it because it is beyond you....yet i want to impress you." that was what the look said to me. i hope the look that i gave her back says "hey, #1, i am not in the 6th grade anymore so i am not impress with your witchcraftery. #2, you look like you just got out of the meth clinic and you have a purse from 1993. #3, you just came in 9 minutes after we closed and are making my night really suck so get the heck out!"

alright. have to go to walmart now.
i really hope all of that got in there.