Thursday, June 4, 2009

you're outta luck....pal

day 4, no sugar, things are shitty but no as much so as the first 3 days. i suspect i am not as cranky because i have eaten nachos at least 3 times this week. nothing better than nachos. i slipped up earlier today and had a piece of grape gum. ugh, i honestly could have sucked down a river so i needed to activate the ol saliva or else i was going to spit out a mattress. hence, sugar eating.

moving on. here's another retail tip for you. i think we are on #3.

---don't be an a-hole if someone is already going out of their way to help you. seriously what happened:

beast lady: i don't have my card, you will have to look it up.
me: sure, i just need your social, full address, etc etc.

i asked her to write it down so i would not have to keep asking her when i was talking to the guy (or lady...but i was a dude in all reality. his name was marcus and boy did he sound like a marcus) on the phone. she wrote down some stuff and it looked like a 10 year old boy wrote it. you know how 10 year old boys write. it is the WORST handwriting EVER. no jokes here. anyway, on with the actual conversation.


at this point i am just smiling that smile that says "hey, it looks like i am smiling to be nice but i am really being super passive aggressive and i want you to know i am a better person than you because you are a super mega beast". i am also calling to get her account number, as all of this smiling is going on. she reaches over and rips up the paper with her info on it before i am finished with marcus.

me: excuse me ma'am, what is your zip code?

beast: SHEW! i told you a million times! it was written on the paper to boot! shew! 23456*! there! shew!

she looks at the lady behind her and throws her hands in the air as if to say "do you believe this? the trouble i am going through??"

so i get her account number, ring up her stuff, shove it in a bag, wished her the best of days and hoped that i never saw her again. but i am sure i will. i am just saying, if you need someone to do something for you, don't be a jerk. its not my fault you forgot your card. its not my fault you lost your coupons. i am not the one that lost it and i am certainly not the one that can somehow magically "look your coupon up". that option does not exist. yeah, i am super cranky today, so what?

on a lighter note, i got my coffee for free at the mall starbucks. mighty nice of them.

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