Sunday, June 28, 2009

i am trying not to get my hopes up but i may have the day off tomorrow! i am "on call" from 2-6 but 9 times out of 10 nothing happens so i am hoping they are not busy. and yes, i said on call. so stupid. it was busy as 40 hells today and i picked up a few more pet peeves. i now know that i would rather someone throw the clothes on the floor after they try them on than to put them back on the hanger inside out. i also hate it that someone came in and put 2 hours worth of shopping on hold and even though we have a pretty strict "hold only till closing" policy, we waited because it was a crapload. finally today i put everything back and she called and the conversation ended with "well, just try to remember what you can, put them aside and i will be in later on". no jokes.

oh man. i got called out on my flip flop wearing and i have to start wearing "real" shoes. so, yesterday i pick up a cheap pair after getting off of work at starbucks and go on my merry way. i had 3 hours before i had to be at the other place and i thought it would be better to nap than to wash a load of clothes. long story short i dug my black dress out of the dirty clothes and hung it over the elliptical to air out during my blissful sleep. i woke up late and instead of showering i just slathered on some smelly lotion. including my feet. i walk out to the car and immediately feel like shit is about to go down because my greased up feet are sliding all over the place and i look like the personification of a broken ankle. i got to the car without falling or my dress flying up like it usually does but as soon as i opened the door i basically fell into the seat. i then had to drive barefoot because sweaty lotiony feet in weird high shoes plus manually driving don't mix well. so i got there and i am sure the way i was walking looked like i was super high and just trying to make the world stop spinning. arms out like i was walking a wire and staring at the floor. picture it. its funny. fast forward a couple of hours and imagine i am straightening a rack of clothes that i have already straightened 6 times before but these bitches keep messing up my area. i take one step to the side and all of a sudden i am thinking "i am falling over.....hey, this is really not that bad. the saying is right: the fear of falling is much worse than the actual fall". and i am serious. that is what i was thinking as i was flat out falling on my ass, dress flying up, still trying to straighted those high waisted pleated jeans before i completely hit the ground. as i lay there i am just glad that no one was around to see. the one time that no one is pawing through the $9.99 pants. phew. i got up and told the girls "i am going on break, i have to go find some cheap flip flops". the ending of this story is that there is no such thing as cheap flip flops up in that mall. and it took me twice the time to walk around, as i was hugging the wall and scooting the way kids (and myself) scoot around the edge of the pool. i am only half joking about that one.

when i got back, a girl i work with was taking to a super feminine guy about the brittney spears song "if you seek amy". before i worked here i didn't know much about popular music and even this song is pretty old i am guessing. apparently we play it now and it is her "jam". when it comes on she freaks out. so as she was folding the clothes he was buying "for his girlfriend", yeah right, i asked what the big whoop was about that song. here is the conversation:

me: i don't get it, why is it censored? is it a drug reference

guy that looks like a thai prostitute: if you seek amy. get it? if. you. seek. amy. hear it?

me: what? who is amy? is it her alter ego?

guy: if you seek amy. spell it out.

me: i-f y-o-u....

at this point the girl i work with was just as perplexed as i was. she didnt know what it was, she was just afraid to ask, i later learned.

guy: NO! F-U-C-K me! if you see k me f-u-c-k me! (he says it 3 more times). at this point i notice that people are looking and i just excuse myself because i realized that i just spent more than a few minutes dissecting a britney spears song. not that when "unusual you" comes on in the store i secretly like it.

i just got back from picking up "dinner". i wanted to go to starbucks and get a free drink and a kind bar but that place was packed. i said fuck it, i am getting some ice cream. i went to mcdonalds and got a tiny vanilla cone and didn't pause to think how i would drive home. i channeled robin, as she once ate a cup of ice cream with a spoon while still manually driving. i made it home and enjoyed the last bite before i even made it to the door. ugh.


robin said...

talent my dear, pure talent (and a slight obsession with ice cream and a willingness to die while eating it) is all it takes!

chelsie said...

wait a FELL?