Instant button collection. Cheating? Yes. There are some nice ones up in there, let me tell ya.

Update on the short term goals that were set a few days ago: yellow/gray/red quilt top finished. it only took a short 5 hours. I am going to try to get some pictures of this beast up when a natural light source presents itself. I could take it outside but I don't want to put myself out there like that, are you freaking kidding?! Now that it is finished, it's pretty clear that my color-putting-together-skills are still lacking and I went a little too yellow crazy. I wanted it to be more gray....who cares, I will post it and that will be that. Next on the quilt front is sashing up the bug quilt and getting that finished. That one is also a beast and what started as a crib size has turned into a full at least.

I am also working on a button collection, like every good woman should. Here she is:



Impressive, no? The picture is the worst, I know that part but look at those buttons! there has to be at least a dozen up in there! Good for me. I also wanted to get a picture of the bell I found thrifting a few days ago. The camera crapped out and it only squeezed out this picture before it collapsed again but let me tell you, this bell in all of its 50 cent glory will be pictured one day. It has gaudy flowers all over it and says "i like you" on top. What is not to like about that?

The other goal, renewing the license, not finished. The Gentleman of the House has been getting a lot of calls and had the car quite a lot this week. Either that or I was working. Maybe I just went home and took a nap. Who can be sure?

Work is still the worst and I am pretty sure I may have to headbutt someone. That's all there is to that.

Watch this video:

a little whining

So.

When I had a Livejournal account many moons ago, I always started out my posts with "so". I can never thing of a way to start entries. Also, when I look back on those posts, this blog, even written journals, it is filled with I's. I, I, I, I, me, me, me, me. That's totally okay, it's a blog. Even though I have an awful headache, I felt the need to update this beast. Mostly because things are changing, my thought process is changing, work is changing, and hopefully soon will can get the ball rolling on a whole life change.

Let's talk about work first. I am miserable there basically. I hate to say that because it has always been so important to me, enjoying my job. I always said that the day it was not fun, I would quit. This was also a time that I never imagined I would be working there for more than a couple of years. Almost 10 years later and I am still asking "would you like whipped cream on that?". Yeash. The thing about this particular store is how much I absolutely cannot tolerate regular customers. Everywhere else, those people are your saving grace. People you get to know, people you like, people you can joke with, people that make it worthwhile. Here, I honestly have not made more than 2 or 3 personal connections that are honest and real. That is really pretty sad seeing as how we see hundred of people a day and most of those people we see every single day. I don't know their names. There is something about this store that brings in the most insufferable crowd. I hate to say that because the tips are somehow amazing and the hardest part of my job is people pleasing, I should not complain at all. There are people here that bring me to the edge of a rage stroke every day. I am not sure why it is so different, it just is. Maybe because it is a moneyed town. All I know is that I am ready to move on. I have thought of my job as my comfort zone for so many years so when I say enough is enough, it is pretty extreme. I know that all jobs are filled with stress, I just want stress in a different setting. same shit, different outfit.

That pretty much factors into why my whole thought process and life outlook is changing. I hate to say this but when I was younger it was almost as if stuff just happened when I needed it to. When I needed a job, I went to a place or 2 and BOOM, job. I would not have gotten it had it not been the holiday rush to be honest but it happened none the less. I wanted to move up in the company, I moved up a tiny bit. This wasn't a situation of "if you put your mind to it and work really hard you will get what you want". Right place, right time, position offered, I accepted, and it was good. Moved. The opportunity to move up again, took it. Easy peasy. Want an apartment? There it is! Want a boyfriend that you actually like? There he is! Things just happened in my favor. I am not saying I am lucky by any means. Trust me when I say that things were not awesome. Trying to learn to manage a remote store with all new people, not really knowing what the hell I was doing was not fun. Trying to live on my own when I kind of didn't know how to run my life was not fun. Being in a long distance relationship was not fun. The point I am trying to make I guess is that my way of thinking is very skewed by being so fortunate in the past. I was able to move up so quickly and easily at work because it was a time when the company was absolutely booming and could not build stores fast enough to fill the "need". The "land of milk and honey" days. I was able to find a nice, cheap apartment because it was the middle of nowhere and of course it is going to be cheap and easy to find! No work was ever involved in finding a place so in my mind, it would always be that easy to find a 10 ft ceiling, 2 bedroom apt for 300 bucks because that was all that I knew. When I decided to transfer to Asheville, I honestly thought that it would be so easy for me to move up. I told my district manager my plan for transferring and he warned me of cuts happening across the board. Stores closing. I moved and had to go back to the bottom of the ladder. I honestly thought I would work a few weeks, get supervisor, few more weeks ASM, before the year was out I would have a store. Yeah right! I didn't even get placed in a store for over a month! Everyone looking for that spot to move up and they had been waiting forever. Depressing. Even more so when the pay cap was put into place and I had to take a pay cut and say goodbye to any raises. it has been 3 years since I have had a raise. Personally, I lost any motivation to move up after about a year. I do feel like I failed in a sense. Still at the beginning after all these years.

I am learning that nothing is going to just fall into my lap. It is a really hard lesson for a lazy, apathetic, and unmotivated person such as myself. I am whining, totally aware of that.

ugh, I didn't mean to go off into that direction when I started this post. What I meant to say was that we have new people at work that are changing the whole dynamic of the place, a lot of people I work with that I just love love love are cutting down to practically nothing because of other (better) jobs and I will not see them as much. I will only see the people I am indifferent towards. Oh goodness, I sound like a complete jerk. Honestly, I just need to vent and this is the most convenient place to get it all out.

So. Life. I am putting a little organization station together in my head that will hopefully get the little things in place so that we can work on the big things. If that makes any sense. Really it all goes back to organization and follow through and the 2 of us are the worst at both. The end. This paragraph makes no sense. The Excedrin migraine is kicking in and I feel like I just had a ton of coffee. I did have a lot of coffee today. The addition of the excedrin is just bonus caffeine. FUN!

Let's talk about something that is a little more fun. On the subject of setting goals and follow through, I am trying a little experiment, just so I can really put myself in situations of having that deadline and really kicking its ass. I am going to put together a few goals, maybe in list form, some small, some large and a time frame to complete said goals. Some of these ideas swirling around in my head kind of sound like one of those "30 before 30" lists but I seriously don't want to get into that boat. That would just be a big cluster mess of awful. I just want to constantly have something to work towards. The first is going to start and end tomorrow when I go get my license renewed. Easy. The next will also end tomorrow with the completion of another quilt top. honestly, I am over pressuring myself to finish and entire quilt from cutting to binding. I feel like if I wait till I have the money to get the batting, backing, and binding, I am limiting myself. I would rather have a few tops waiting to be finished than have ideas swirling in my head that I can't cut and sew because I have to wait till I finish one that is already started. I say this after I wrote a whole paragraph about not accomplishing goals, I totally get that. Shut up.

here's a bad picture or 2

I started this one a few days ago. I have a stack of near perfect black, gray, yellow, red, etc. blocks that are ready to be triagularized (real word) on the side that I will get to someday but the scraps from said squares inspired these wonky, buggy, strange blocks that I love love love and want to focus on for a little bit.

This one I put together for Justine's baby girl, Evelyn Rae from a top I had just finished.

ZOMBIE BLOG!

I feel like a lot of new things are going to be happening soon. I could very well be wrong and this blog will die for the 6th time in it's short life. I may even get some regular pictures on this beast and god-forbid, start tagging and titling like a good blogger should. we'll see.

Lucy Jean! !

I wish I had posted the day she was born because it was a super amazing day. Now I waited so long that I barely remember. Robin called at 5 something in the morning and said "well, I am in the hospital." super calmly and in a way that did not say "I am about to birth a person I have been growing for months". I, on the other hand, freaked out. I had to get up for work at around 6 but I couldn't get back to sleep. I went to work and pretty much made everyone's day. Never has a barista been so friendly. The smile on my face was borderline insane. Even people that creep me out and make my day suck received real, honest to goodness conversation, a real smile, and I seriously wished them a good day.....weirdos. Trust me, next time I saw these people it was back to normal, but on May 3th, they got the royal treatment. Every chance I got I told people that my best friend was giving birth and I was most likely going to get to hold her in mere hours. I know now it may have been a little strange to say this over and over to people that just want a freakin' cup of coffee but I was excited! Dru let me leave early.....rephrase, I said "dude, it is slow, there are a million people working, I am going to leave, I have a kid to see". fast forward===went home, packed up the Cheerwine for the new parents, headed out. who cares about this part.

I was kind of worried earlier in the day that she would be several hours old by the time I got there. I am late to everything, if I show up at all. Anyway, that is a whole different issue. On the way up Destiny, and sometimes Robin, was texting me and I got the message she was going into surgery for a c-section. That made me panic a little because I still had a ways to drive.

Fast forward====I pulled into the hospital and saw Bill and Destiny in the parking lot. We were casually talking for a minute when Destiny said something or another that signaled Lucy was already born. I was like "she is here?!?!". It was not a super cool moment for me. She asked if i wanted to see the picture and I have to admit that I wanted to see her in person first. I gave in and grabbed the camera. I was so relieved how beautiful she was because I made a promise to Robin that if she was not cute I would be honest and tell her up front. This was not a promise made in jest, woman was serious. She was 9 pounds, 1 ounce, and 20 inches and pure awesome. When we got to the maternity...place, ward, area, whatever it is called, she was getting a little sponge bath and not really enjoying it. I could only see a chubby leg and maybe an arm flying every few seconds but it was super cute none the less. The nurse finally brought her over so we could just sit and gawk at her for a little while. I may have cried at one point and could be crying right now. Just meeting someone that you've only known as a name and some pink clothes...okay, a TON of clothes, to finally see her was amazing.




At some point, they brought Robin out to look at her and the nurse said "well, what do you think about her?" she replied "I guess she's alright". HILARIOUS. I expected nothing less from Robin, comedy gold after hours of labor and major surgery. I did a weird laugh/cry combo that is always a super satisfying emotion. I stared at her for a little while then she got wheeled into the room with Jarred and Robin for some bonding time. I did a little family bonding myself with JT and Robin's uncle Bill. We talked about tattoos, dogs, strawberry shortcake, and more tattoo stuff. I have to say it was pretty epic.

Fast forward====I got to hang out with the Lucy for a bit and I have to say that it fueled the already intense baby fever. maybe because she didn't cry or poop whilst I was there and stayed constantly cute. I held her for a bit till a nurse came in and snagged her for a test. Annoying. When she came back I had to start saying my goodbyes. Robin was holding her and Jarred was standing beside of her. When Lucy heard Jarred's voice she almost gave herself whiplash trying to follow the sound of his voice and open her eyes to look at him. It would have been a prime cry/laugh moment but I stayed pretty collected. When JT and I have a baby, it is going to have to work extra hard to top it's cousin.

best. night. ever.

I wanted to detail the Henry Rollins show, from the line till walking out but I honestly have such a vague memory of it. Weird. What I remember:

I barely made it back from Georgia in time to get ready. I had enough time to change clothes and throw some powder on my face so as to not look like an oil spill. That's right, I didn't shower. Anyway, I met up with Denise and we got there more than an hour before the doors opened. I am so glad we did because we were only 20 deep in the line at that point and about 10 minutes later the line wrapped around the building. Best timing. We basically talked about Margaret's wedding in June (or July, depending) and randomly squealed with anticipation. Finally the doors opened and we had our choice of seats. Though there was front row available, we sat three rows back to be perfectly in the center. The place was packed within minutes and for some reason the heat stayed on. Hot. Blah blah blah, hour of waiting for the show to actually start, we ate some nuts, drank some water, made fun of some people, etc etc. At 8 exactly (of course he would be that respectful and amazing), the show started. He ran out and pretty much started immediately. None of the awkward "How's everybody doing tonight?!? wooooooooo!!!!" junk. He recollected the last time he was in Asheville for a few second and got right to business. I was honestly not feeling well at this point because I do not do well with surreal situations. I was having a hard time processing the whole thing. I was to the point that I was talking myself out of either having a panic attack or passing out. I was shaking like a newborn tree for the first 10 minutes or so. I guess it is because when I first saw his spoken word, I was like "holy shit, this the the smartest person I have ever seen". So, to witness it in person was jarring. I had never really been into his music so I felt like a tool, looking at all of the people with Black Flag things to be signed. Aaaaanyway, I believe he started out talking about First Amendment protection, "the internets" as he called it, basically throwing out truth nuggets left and right. After a while I relaxed and could actually listen and process information. He talked about being on "Sons of Anarchy", being a judge on RuPaul's "Drag Race", his masturbatory habits ("creating a crime scene"), traveling the world, Thanksgiving with William Shatner, his views on football, kids, teenagers, his commencement speech at Sonoma, and tons of other stuff I seriously can't bring up in my brain to save my life. I was just amazed. I was also worried because the last time JT and I saw a show at the Orange Peel there was a serious heckler and the thought of someone making this an awkward situation....ugh. There was a woman in the front row that was double fisting beer all night. She got up several times and came back with 2 beers each time. She was by herself and obviously looking for a good time. She was an "above the head" clapper, a cat caller, and I am pretty sure she was trying to give ol' Henry the bedroom eyes because she was giving him that desperate "I will do some weird shit in the bedroom for you" look. Every time she came back, everyone would look at the person beside them and the look on their face said "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!". Her last trip was only one beer and a bottle of water. who are you kidding lady?? no one, that's who. Plus, nobody got out of their seats. I had to pee the last half but I would not dare leave. Actually, one woman left pretty early on. I think when he started talking about Sarah Palin squeezing her children to make baby oil to sell to Johnson and Johnson, she realized it was not the place for her. Long story short it was an amazing experience and I hope I get to see him again.

(even if you don't watch it, at least skip around a bit)