I'm Carrie Bradshaw

Well, I've already started slacking on my daily post promise. That was pretty quick, no? Nothing is happening that I feel like I need to remember when I come back to read this in a couple of years. Also, what is interesting to me, is totally boring to someone else. Maybe because I tend to get obsessed with one thing and it's all I focus on and want to talk about. I say that because I want to talk about what I am currently focused on. Let's start with a concern. A morality concern. Never had I "Facebook stalked" or googled a person I was interested to death. I think because before Jt and I started seeing each other, that was not a thing? Obviously when we got together I didn't have a reason to google  men so that  just passed me by. Moving on. I got the google bug when I found out my crushtomers last name. I felt disgusting! That's how I know I was doing something that is not necessarily wrong, but isn't right either. He has little to no web presence as they say but I still found out things that I should not have known because he didn't tell me personally. When does it go from innocent curiosity to weird? Answer: it's always weird! Edit: looking up a name on Facebook is not terribly strange. Looking it up several times to the point that when you type in the first letter of their name it pops up first thing, that's when it's gone too far. I have gone to far. I am sure when we are deep into an emotionally and physically fulfilling relationship, I will tell him and we will laugh. While that was totally a joke, it too is not healthy. Let's move on.

I went on a date yesterday. That's about all I can say. Dating is a strange thing. I have been saying that I can't wait to start seeing someone and feeling those awesome nerves, the excitement, holding hands with someone for the first time, all that fun fun stuff. I didn't get any of that. Maybe we'll go out once more but I don't see it going anywhere.

On a lighter note, I have 3 avocados and I'm going to eat all of them. You heard me.

.....

ALSO! I asked Jt if he would consider writing a letter of recommendation for me to give to Astronaut Mike Dexter, who we called Captain Upright, and get it notarized. Best idea I have ever heard of. Having your ex write a formal letter of recommendation? What the what!? You would never get a more honest opinion of a person, am I right? Obviously he agreed.

aww crap

Seriously another amazing day that I don't feel like blogging about! I am so tired. To sum up yesterday, I watched 'Cabin in the Woods' and I'd like to get more into that later. I later went to Margaret's house and ate some beans and watched TV and it was amazingly relaxing. I think that's how you know that you have a friend. When you can just relax and not feel like you have to entertain each other. When you can bring over a coffee and they are not hell bent on repaying you for it. When you can say "I don't agree one bit with what you are saying but I still want to hang out with you". Friends.

Today was nice a relaxing as well. I am finally able to admit to myself that wearing sunglasses gives me a headache, no matter how cute they are. I met up with Jt to get the car registration taken care of, for real this time. It has been the lingering reminder of our relationship for months now. Knowing that this was potentially the absolute last time we would purposefully see each other was very bittersweet. We got to talking, as we always do during our "here's some of your stuff" meetings, and we ended up hanging out in the Ingles parking lot for a few hours having the best and most candid conversation we've had in maybe years. During our relationship we were these weird versions of ourselves that were kind of fake and liars in a sense? Now that there is no pressure at all between us, no stress of everyday couple things, no bills to talk about, no dinner talk, it is nothing but 2 people who are comfortable with each other that underneath it all still want to be able to share thier life with the other person. I just wanted to scream "look at how happy we are separately! Isn't this so awesome?? I am so happy that you are happy and I am happy that you are happy that I am happy!!!"

When it seemed to take only a short time to get over our breakup, I worried that maybe I was just fooling myself and that one day I would go berserk. That is not the case. Then I felt as if I would be fine as long as I never had to see him with someone else. Not too long ago I revisited that scenereo and if I were to see him with someone else I would be so happy for him and I would make some lewd sexual gesture while pointing at her and giving him the thumbs up. I know now he would give me the same respect. We are just emotionally healthy and awesome like that. We also shared some things tonight that I don't think are normal for ex's to discuss but it was honestly a lot of fun and I hope we get to hang out some time in the future and I can give him some more advice on picking up ladies. I gave him some platinum advice, that's all I can say about that. His advice to me was maybe I should look for men at Harris Teeter because they are old and have a little bit of the cash. Not platinum advice but still pretty good.

Then I came home! Roomy Brian is home. I've missed his face! I am looking forward to doing little to nothing tomorrow. I have no cleaning to do that I can think of, not a lot of cash to do anything entertaining, and no reason to wake up early. Sounds dreamy.

Swell

What a swell day! I will talk about it tomorrow!

Welp.

What a B-U-S-T of a day. I can't remember this morning so we'll just say that nothing exciting happened. It seems like a lifetime ago. The afternoon is also a little blurry. I think some funny stuff happened but I can't be sure. I honestly have some subject matter to touch on but it never seems to be the right time to get up in there and talk about it.

I have eaten pizza 3 days in a row and I wanted to break that cycle tonight. Hint: Not Happening. I am elbow deep in cheesy pepperoni wonder.

Fun right? It will get more interesting, I promise. Hopefully.

Blast From the Past Friday!!!!

So. I have been looking over my journal from years ago and what always seemed really funny to me just seems super boring now. Obviously I will feel the same about reading this 10 years from now. The plan was to just copy and paste an entry once a week, in order, from my old journal but it has been a struggle to find something even a tiny bit entertaining. Most of it is boys I thought were cute, work sucks talk, people I can't remember, and complaints that sound way too familiar. Well, that is kind of what I am going through now?? Strange. Anway. Here is a random entry, cleaned up a little.

31st July 2004

1:57am: i want to be a librarian
i want to learn how to play the banjo
i want robin to learn how to play the fiddle
we can have a band
i want to wake up in the morning, go be a librarian, wear cardigans and hair scarfs, come home, play the banjo, and eat macaroni and cheese.
i want to date a guy that is a little taller than me and a little funnier than me. thats pretty hard because i am damn funny.
i dont want to drink but i want to drink red wine out of a plastic cup. maybe i just want grape juice. jesus juice. with macaroni and cheese.
i am not asking for much people!

 

End.

 

Interesting, right?

Already skipping days....not a good sign

No post yesterday! Nothing super exciting happened. Worked, came home, ran errands with Harmony, came home again. I did eat half a pizza and drank beer in a can for the first time.

I still trying to figure out how exactly to blog successfully. Even though I have had an online journal since the Diaryland and Livejournal days, I've never really gotten it right. I blame run-on sentances, no clear subject matter, lack of pictures, and generally bad writing. Also, the years of not capitalizing has made years of entries all but impossible to read.


I am also never sure how to end entries....