i always give chelsie hell for posting lyrics and quotes but sometimes it works. i am not one with words so its okay to let someone else say what you are feeling in your life even though what they meant is something totally different than what you are using it for. anyway. i was listening to this song earlier and it really hit a nerve:




It'll happen
It's gonna happen babe
But it hasn't happened yet
I'm not gonna let you get
ahead of yourself
It's your Achilles heel
Though I want it as bad as you
We've gotta try to see it through
Our own excitement
Your excitement babe
Hasn't let that happen yet
and it won't if you forget
What happened last time

i am trying not to get my hopes up but i may have the day off tomorrow! i am "on call" from 2-6 but 9 times out of 10 nothing happens so i am hoping they are not busy. and yes, i said on call. so stupid. it was busy as 40 hells today and i picked up a few more pet peeves. i now know that i would rather someone throw the clothes on the floor after they try them on than to put them back on the hanger inside out. i also hate it that someone came in and put 2 hours worth of shopping on hold and even though we have a pretty strict "hold only till closing" policy, we waited because it was a crapload. finally today i put everything back and she called and the conversation ended with "well, just try to remember what you can, put them aside and i will be in later on". no jokes.

oh man. i got called out on my flip flop wearing and i have to start wearing "real" shoes. so, yesterday i pick up a cheap pair after getting off of work at starbucks and go on my merry way. i had 3 hours before i had to be at the other place and i thought it would be better to nap than to wash a load of clothes. long story short i dug my black dress out of the dirty clothes and hung it over the elliptical to air out during my blissful sleep. i woke up late and instead of showering i just slathered on some smelly lotion. including my feet. i walk out to the car and immediately feel like shit is about to go down because my greased up feet are sliding all over the place and i look like the personification of a broken ankle. i got to the car without falling or my dress flying up like it usually does but as soon as i opened the door i basically fell into the seat. i then had to drive barefoot because sweaty lotiony feet in weird high shoes plus manually driving don't mix well. so i got there and i am sure the way i was walking looked like i was super high and just trying to make the world stop spinning. arms out like i was walking a wire and staring at the floor. picture it. its funny. fast forward a couple of hours and imagine i am straightening a rack of clothes that i have already straightened 6 times before but these bitches keep messing up my area. i take one step to the side and all of a sudden i am thinking "i am falling over.....hey, this is really not that bad. the saying is right: the fear of falling is much worse than the actual fall". and i am serious. that is what i was thinking as i was flat out falling on my ass, dress flying up, still trying to straighted those high waisted pleated jeans before i completely hit the ground. as i lay there i am just glad that no one was around to see. the one time that no one is pawing through the $9.99 pants. phew. i got up and told the girls "i am going on break, i have to go find some cheap flip flops". the ending of this story is that there is no such thing as cheap flip flops up in that mall. and it took me twice the time to walk around, as i was hugging the wall and scooting the way kids (and myself) scoot around the edge of the pool. i am only half joking about that one.

when i got back, a girl i work with was taking to a super feminine guy about the brittney spears song "if you seek amy". before i worked here i didn't know much about popular music and even this song is pretty old i am guessing. apparently we play it now and it is her "jam". when it comes on she freaks out. so as she was folding the clothes he was buying "for his girlfriend", yeah right, i asked what the big whoop was about that song. here is the conversation:

me: i don't get it, why is it censored? is it a drug reference

guy that looks like a thai prostitute: if you seek amy. get it? if. you. seek. amy. hear it?

me: what? who is amy? is it her alter ego?

guy: if you seek amy. spell it out.

me: i-f y-o-u....

at this point the girl i work with was just as perplexed as i was. she didnt know what it was, she was just afraid to ask, i later learned.

guy: NO! F-U-C-K me! if you see k me f-u-c-k me! (he says it 3 more times). at this point i notice that people are looking and i just excuse myself because i realized that i just spent more than a few minutes dissecting a britney spears song. not that when "unusual you" comes on in the store i secretly like it.

i just got back from picking up "dinner". i wanted to go to starbucks and get a free drink and a kind bar but that place was packed. i said fuck it, i am getting some ice cream. i went to mcdonalds and got a tiny vanilla cone and didn't pause to think how i would drive home. i channeled robin, as she once ate a cup of ice cream with a spoon while still manually driving. i made it home and enjoyed the last bite before i even made it to the door. ugh.

i find that when i am super tired, i use the word "dude" a lot. i am just super tired.....dude. working many many hours is not doin me right. usually i sleep somewhere around 10 hours a night. now i am getting a more normal amount most of the week and maybe a 3 nights of 6 hours. granted, i am sleeping better and it is not difficult to just conk the hell out right away. i love not tossing and turning for hours. feels good. i also love not feeling guilty for wasting daylight. not that i am using said daylight hours. i am in a mall where the only window is a skylight that i only see when i have to hang up the purple and green plaid crops in the front of the store. the ladies love those. apparently the target demographic for this store only wear cropped pants and glitter shirts. ha, actually a woman came in today and said "y'all still carry 'em sexy shorts? i love me some shorty short shorts". i wish i were joking.

ugh. i have a story about going to the mall starbucks. i feel like every time i go to get myself a little drinky drink it is never the way i want it, could make myself, or get from someone i know personally or at my own store(s). not even taking into consideration that i would not have to pay for it if it were in said familiar situations. so. every time i have gotten a drink in the mall, some shit has gone wrong. the first time i went they didn't give me my discount but insisted that they did even though i had the receipt and no such discount went down. it made me super irritated but since i am a passive shrinking violet, i let it go because the guy was being a real 'see you next tuesday'. the next time i went i wanted a regular coffee and i saw the girl give me decaf. i can read. i saw you give me decaf with my own eyes. i have maybe done this 2 times in my entire life. one time because a woman was on her cell phone and gave me a stern "hold on!" finger. not cool. decaf for you, and have a nice life. the next time i wanted a hot fatty fat kid. angie, you know what i am talking about. yum yum. so, the lady makes it and it starts flowing like mad out of the drink spout. she proceeds to roughly wipe it off with a brown, filthy, sopping wet bar cloth. i just looked at her, looked at the cup, looked at her, looked at the cup....and so on. of course i then smiled and thanked her and skipped out of the store. moving on to today. i am just going to post the conversation.

me: heeeey. tall whole milk mocha

him: alrighty, tall caramel mocha!

me: nope, not caramel, whole milk

him: ohhhh! whole milk, got it..........paper cup okay?

me: errrrr. yes? ( i should have seen something coming right about here.)

so. i am waiting for my drinks (i got something for a co-worker as well) and the barista says "hey we made this latte by mistake, would you like it as well? which is common to give away mistakes so you don't waste or whatever. i said suuuuuure. so i have 3 drinks and a bottle of water. they are all fixed up in a tray and i head on down the road. i get to the store and when i pick up my mocha i notice it is super cold. i read the side of the cup and see that it is just a hot cup filled with cold whole milk....

cold whole milk. that's it! i seriously got tears in my eyes. for 2 reasons really. i wanted that flippin drink and the 2nd reason being that i was shocked that the guy was so stupid. rant over.

after a rough day ringing up fuchsia glitter shirts and semi-precious genuine Navajo turquoise rings i came home and took a nap whilst enjoying some "scrubs". then i went to starbucks and made drinks correctly and didn't act like a complete idiot. some of the highlights were when an early 20-something guy asked what a distinguished middle aged man would drink because thats what he wanted to have. denise hooked him up with a white mocha and convinced him that it was exactly what a man of power would have. later we laughed at him for drinking what is really a young woman's beverage of choice. or actually everyone in the south. okay, it transcends all ages and sexes but it was definitely not what he was looking for. it was what he really wanted in his heart though. he drank it with pride, i tell you that! another high point was.....okay, leaving for the night was about it. i just want to be home, watchin scrubs, eatin nachos, rantin on my blowg. feels good.....dude.

so. i am back on the sugar in a bad way. all it took was one bad day. actually it has been a pretty nasty few weeks for charles but i felt momentarily good biting into that chocolate bar after not having sweets for however long. today at work i ate a chocolate chip cookie and a banana chocolate vivvano. a couple of hours ago i went back to work and had a grande mocha. i never ever get grande. it was just that kind of afternoon.

what eeeeeelse-----i ate at the noodle shop for the first time yesterday and it was pretty freakin good. our waiter was kooky mckook kook madooks. i caught him busting out some karate moves in the air whilst putting in orders. no one was around or paying attention to him at all so it had to be completely random. he also got our orders completely messed up and 4 extra plates of food almost came out before someone in the kitchen caught it and questioned it. when he took our plates to the back to box them up for us he came back with totally random tupperwares of food that were most definitely not ours. how could you mess that one up? take it back there, box it up, send it back out to the same person. no way could i take back some tofu cubes from someone and then hand them some chicken fried rice. it was not that busy dude. i forgave him because he looked like he could be brian van h's twin. or distant cousin. at any rate, the food was good.

i am going to walk around and take some pictures tomorrow with the ol' manual. i found 4 rolls of film in the closet. i figure it will give me something to do other than bitching around the apartment and dramatically wailing "woe is meeeeeee". this of course depends on if i can stay awake. i open tomorrow and i am still awake with no signs of being tired.

post #200!

so, yesterday was day 11 of "no sugar for 45 days". after dinner i was feeling super sweet toothified so i had a vanilla cone from sonic. i don't feel awful about it because it is 180 something calories. no big whoop. i thought i would feel defeated and just give it up but i felt satisfied and i didn't even think about having a treat today. i wanted to start working out again today but i worked all day and when i got home earlier i started cleaning so i don't feel like it. plus it is hot as hell in here. the night is still young so who knows.

hey, i have another shopping tip. i think i should change it to "tips for being in public". so here's a tip for going out to a public place: DON'T BE STUPID. if you are an idiot, go ahead and stay home and maybe shop online because i can't deal with your dumb ass. seriously, i am really worried about some of these people that are absolutely oblivious to anything or anyone around them. there are no words.

in other news....actually i have no other news because i have no life.

day 8, i think, of no sugar. things are okay. i got a pretty crazy craving earlier on the way back from barnes and noble but other than that it has gotten a lot better. i am drinking a lot more water, as it is all i can really have. i got some coconut water a few days ago. i hear about that stuff constantly and when i saw justin timberlake with it on snl i was like, "man, i gots'ta get me some-a that!". so i did and it tasted just like coconut water. i am not sure what flavor explosion i was expecting but it was it was. i have some passion fruit infused coconut water just waiting for me to throw it away in the fridge but i am saving it for a special occasion.

lets talk about the second job for a second (ha, second second). there are some pros and cons. i am happy that i can fold a pair of pants correctly. i thought there was a wrong way and a right way and was always to lazy to do it the right way. i now know that what i thought was "right" was also wrong. another pro...well, thats the only good thing i can think of right now. what i want to talk about is the music i have to listen to the whole shift. i was thinking about how i am really out of the loop with pop music and i was okay with it. i read celebrity gossip for some reason and half the time i have no idea who these people are. now i hear it all constantly. i hear lady gaga and katy perry all freaking day! ! ! it makes me insane. all of the songs have the power to get stuck in your head and make me want to puncture my eardrums....i say this as i am youtubing them so i can hear them while i am outside of work. i actually went out of my way to hear some of this crap. and it is alllll CRAP. i cant get over it. i am super irritated right now.

you're outta luck....pal

day 4, no sugar, things are shitty but no as much so as the first 3 days. i suspect i am not as cranky because i have eaten nachos at least 3 times this week. nothing better than nachos. i slipped up earlier today and had a piece of grape gum. ugh, i honestly could have sucked down a river so i needed to activate the ol saliva or else i was going to spit out a mattress. hence, sugar eating.

moving on. here's another retail tip for you. i think we are on #3.

---don't be an a-hole if someone is already going out of their way to help you. seriously what happened:

beast lady: i don't have my card, you will have to look it up.
me: sure, i just need your social, full address, etc etc.

i asked her to write it down so i would not have to keep asking her when i was talking to the guy (or lady...but i was a dude in all reality. his name was marcus and boy did he sound like a marcus) on the phone. she wrote down some stuff and it looked like a 10 year old boy wrote it. you know how 10 year old boys write. it is the WORST handwriting EVER. no jokes here. anyway, on with the actual conversation.

beast: UGH. SHEW! SIIIIIGGGHHHHHH.

at this point i am just smiling that smile that says "hey, it looks like i am smiling to be nice but i am really being super passive aggressive and i want you to know i am a better person than you because you are a super mega beast". i am also calling to get her account number, as all of this smiling is going on. she reaches over and rips up the paper with her info on it before i am finished with marcus.

me: excuse me ma'am, what is your zip code?

beast: SHEW! i told you a million times! it was written on the paper to boot! shew! 23456*! there! shew!

she looks at the lady behind her and throws her hands in the air as if to say "do you believe this? the trouble i am going through??"

so i get her account number, ring up her stuff, shove it in a bag, wished her the best of days and hoped that i never saw her again. but i am sure i will. i am just saying, if you need someone to do something for you, don't be a jerk. its not my fault you forgot your card. its not my fault you lost your coupons. i am not the one that lost it and i am certainly not the one that can somehow magically "look your coupon up". that option does not exist. yeah, i am super cranky today, so what?

on a lighter note, i got my coffee for free at the mall starbucks. mighty nice of them.

hey! no work at the "other job"!

i am going to walk to starbucks and get a regular coffee...with cream. hey, it counts as an actual food-like product. no corn, no sugar, etc.

i have to agree with robin, if i dont have a sweet after a meal, it feels almost like it is not complete. the treat says "hey, we have reached the end of the meal, go watch a movie".

the chocolate bar in the fridge was still the first thing i thought of when i woke up this morning. this is going to be difficult. day 2 of 45.

i had a slice of cantaloupe and a hunk of orange watermelon for breakfast. earlier i had a little piece of cheese and a kashi bar. i am not counting the kashi bar as sugar, though i should. okay, its the last one. geez.

tuesday means nacho night for this gal, hence i am going to work out like a mad person so i can have my delicious mamacitas chicken nachos. i could have it every single day of the week. jt is super tired of eating there so i save it for tuesday, when he goes to sams.

i also have to work at the ol starbucks tonight and it is going to be hard for me to not have a "beautiful handcrafted beverage". i went for a long while without partaking and then i went through the "oh, its been a month since i have had a drink! i can have a short nonfat no whip mocha and be done with it". yeah, right. the next day i will get a tall 2% no whip, then a tall 2% with whip, then a grande with whole milk and whip, and before you know it i am back to my tall breve mocha. people, that is pure half and half i am drinking like water. ugh, gross. it helps that most of the people i work with either drink americanos or juice of some version.

at the moment i am waiting to call into the "other job" to see if i have to work this afternoon. being on call at a retail job at least 3 days a week is so so so stupid. if i were the type of person that does things, i would be pissed because you cant plan anything because there is a chance you may have to work. 8 times out of 10, they don't need you.

2 posts in one day!

today is day 1 of my trying to go 45 days without sugar. i figure i have tried to stop eating and drinking junk before and i dont get very far so i am going to try to get through these 45 days and hopefully not feel like i neeeeeed a treat.

i woke up and remembered a fancy chocolate bar i bought last night and only ate 2 squares of. i wanted it like nothing else but i put it in a ziploc and put it into the freezer.
i also recently bought 4 12 packs of soda for some reason and it is very tempting. they were on sale. i have no idea why i bought them. not that we don't drink soda, we just had never really bought 2 liters, cans, or bottles to just have on hand. it would be like a meth user having their own lab, its just not a good thing.
i had some melon and water for breakfast and leftover pizza for lunch. i am not eating particularly well, i will deal with that later. right now i just want to work on my issues with sugar. its an addiction people!

i am not sure what is happening with dinner but it will not involve a fudge cake sundae from sonic.

friendly retail tip #1

here's a tip for you when you are out shopping:

do not, i repeat, do not tear off your receipt. the associate will hand it too you, rest assured. i had this happen to me twice yesterday and it almost blew a gasket. it usually happens this way:

i go ahead and ring things before i take the sensors off. just so you can see the prices on the screen before i go through the trouble of de-sesoring, de-hangering, and folding. there is a high chance of "ugh, this said it was 60% off! i don't want it anymore!". i would rather it happen before i waste 3 steps. if the sign does really make it look like a certain non-sale item is on sale, by all means i will change it. but if people are idiots and just don't know how to read or pay attention, i don't have to. if they are super super nice and feel foolish, i may change it as well. i don't do it often because it will make it look like i am just giving people deals hurvy scurvy and get my ass fired. moving on. so i am finished ringing and i turn around to start the intense process of getting your shit in a bag. i hear the card swipe and i hurry and turn around to accept it on my register because otherwise they keep on swiping and saying "this thang aint workin!" and it ends up canceling and automatically running as credit which some people do not like, even though it is all the same and still gets debited at roughly the same time. until someone tells me otherwise, i am sticking to that story. so, i turn around, accept debit and it is pin number time. half the time people do not push accept. that is not really part of this story, it just bothers me. then while i am still de sensoring and folding, the receipt comes out. most of the time people realize that it is not thier job to grab it. 49% of people know that it would be rude the reach over and take something that is kind of not officially theirs yet from an area that they have no business being in. yesterday it happened twice. the first time i said "hehe, i guess you already have your receipt huh? oh goodness." smile smile smile. the second time i said "well, it looks like somebody does not want their $40 off coupon that has to be stapled on their receipt by an associate to be vaaaaliiiiiid, haha....oh goodness". i am super nice, don't get me wrong.

friendly retail shopping tip #2 is:

think before you do stupid and/or inconsiderate things.

sometimes i have to remind myself that if people didn't do inconsiderate things, i would not have a job. but really, its not true. half the time i don't get the chance to put more product out or clean because i am busy putting back 20 items that someone took and hour to pick out but decided "eh, i don't want them anymore, i am just going to lay 'em right here". but really, it is my job and i feel happy to have it. i just don't like people all that much.

otherwise i am warming up to the ol' second job. i enjoy the discount and plan on enjoying it to buy another summer dress for 20 bucks this afternoon.

starbucks is as great as ever. i can't think of anything particularly exciting about it at the moment.

we went to georgia this passed weekend to see john's games. it was 12 hours of baseball, i kid you not. i really enjoyed the first game. he didn't play the second so i read and ate. by the 4th game i was pretty much checked out, as were the boys on the team. they were exhausted and starving. i can't imagine not wanting to pass out after one game, much less 3. it was really a good time and i am glad we got to see it.