"The weight of evidence for an extraordinary claim must be proportioned to its strangeness."

i would like to share 2 choice quotes from jt

"hey what happened with that great dane on the horse whisperer?"

i screamed "hey its my birthday! i am older than you!" to which he replied:

"you always will be. unless you die before me"

good ones sweety!

long day at work. super long day. i worked at the mall at 9am and i got to see all of the weird mall walkers. they were swarming the place. who thought of this? mall walking? i honestly didn't think that it was really a "thing". it was real and it was weird.

i cant stress enough how easy this job is. i clocked in and vacuumed for a little while, opened some boxes of preservative soaked clothes, snapped sensor things on them, and either put them on the floor to sell or threw them in the back room. i rang up around a dozen transactions and returns, put returns back on the floor, and left at 1. sure, i hate dealing with inconsiderate people but half the time the customers are normal-ish. it freaks me out how strange people are and i wonder if they know that they are either a complete douche or just generally weird. it is few and far between to meet a regular ass person around here. anyway. i left there and came home for about 40 minutes to change and get ready to go to starbucks. it was a never-ending day there and i felt like i was on a 5 second delay pretty much all afternoon/evening. nothing exciting happened, it was uneventful.

now i am home and wishing i could drum up some energy to get on the elliptical for a little while. i cant think of anything worse. i just want to lay around and read and listen to richard dawkins' soothing voice in the background. i am on a richard dawkins kick again and i cant get enough videos, audio books, and i would even go as far as to try to read 'the blind watchmaker' again. i think it was triggered by randomly finding and reading sam harris' 'letter to a christian nation'. i wish i was as well spoken as these gents.

i am soooo looking forward to having tomorrow completely off. maybe i will leave the apartment before 5pm. i doubt it, we'll see.

since i have started the new job i have devoloped a crazy thumb twitch. i am not sure that one has anything to do with the other but i am grouping it so i will have a cause for it. moving on.

work was less weird yesterday. i dont feel like crap asking people so try for an account because they are going to get the % off anyway, a 10$ card, and all of the bonus coupons just for trying so i could care less if someone gets annoyed with me. i annoyed the crap out of a lady yesterday till she tried, got approved so got 15% off, then got another 15% off for being a teacher. i saved the bitch over 100 bucks. one last thing i would like to say about this retail world, everyone is an asshole. a stack of shirts took someone quite a while to set up. then someone comes over and wants one from the bottom. she jerks it out. not lifting the top shirts, flat out jerking it from the bottom. her .5 second move just gave me 30 minutes of work. bitch. same for the person that decides to put stuff back in random places. thank you for the extra hour of hunting around and trying to fix it.

apparently there was a tornado warning this morning? i slept right through it. i was dreaming that gordan ramsey had a collection of strange rare pets. they were half rat half human it looked like. they talked. he treated them like kids, even though one of them was clearly elderly. it was adorable and creepy.

i hate that my day off is rainy and dark. not that i leave the apartment during the day.

summer job 2009

ahhhh, summer is almost here, what does that mean for the owens/burton household? i no longer get to lounge around the apartment, working 18, 20, sometimes 22 hours a week. it is summer job, pick-up-the-slack time for me and i will have to work 40+ hours for a while. curses. i will fall behind on my celebrity gossip, that i know for sure. since i will most likely not get it at the ol' 'bucks, i am now the proud employee, er, "associate....in the mall. i am going to talk some crap about it in the future i am sure so i will leave it at that. for the actual store, text me. again, i am afraid of being "dooced" albeit on a smaller scale. call me paranoid. anyway, i always said i wanted a job where i got to dress up a little and not have to crawl around cleaning drains and floor mats caked with coffee grounds and dairy, now i have that. not in the way i was hoping but who am i to be choosy? my first official day was yesterday. i learned how to ring people up, put on and take off those huge sensor things, fold shirts properly, hang and size pants, open the fitting room for people, and how to really pressure people into applying for an account with the store. seriously, i learned that in most retail stores, they have to ask you and ask you and ask you and cannot stop till you say "no" 3 times. seriously. i am up to asking twice without feeling like a total asshole. to be honest though, this place has some ridiculous deals and will give you percentages off for just about anything. teachers, nurses, emts, etc etc get 15% off, if you have AAA, 15% off, stuff like that. you cant leave without some sort of discount. that is really great i have to say. honestly, i feel like i will be able to live with it without going home crying (see summer job 2008 "target"). plus i am rarely there and get a pretty decent discount. stay tuned for updates on this gem.

i went to kohls earlier, as i need decent clothing for work, and when i checked out the lady pressured me into trying for a kohls account and all i could think was "ugh, this is what i am going to sound like". i finally said "i have never been to kohls and we don't have one where i live etc etc." lies! i lied and still got super annoyed even though i shouldn't have. sheesh. on another note, i got a pretty nice outfit for $12.00. amaaaaazing!

dear land-o-lakes fat free half and half,

i love you so much. when i first heard about you i thought it was the dumbest thing i had ever heard. when i read some reviews about you. some people are bad mouthin the fact you contain corn syrup. when i poured you into my ethiopia sidamo and it turned a beautiful shade of taupey tanish beige, i almost hit the floor. after my first drink i was in love. thank you for existing and coming in 2 convenient sizes. i will be faithful to you as long as i drink coffee, even though you seem a little too good to be true.

yours,

charlie