oh my

i abused youtube tonight. i honestly tore it a new one. i used youtubed as if i was never going to see it again. it was not a proud time. i listened to "copperhead road" 3 times. something is wrong with me. i have to wake up super early tomorrow and i am not in the bed.

the first thing i do when jt leaves for his tuesday man-date, i listen to "too cold at home" by mark chestnutt. i love that song so much and i feel like i have to be alone to enjoy it.

i worked at the starbucks today. it was my day off but i honestly wanted to work there so badly i practically jumped through the phone when denise called to ask if i would cover a shift. when i got a call this morning to see if i would come in even earlier i said "YES PLEASE!" and worked a whole shift. uhg, it was just as great as i had hoped. people i thought hated me and always cried "ohh this sucks they haaate me" are people that no one gives a crap about anyway and who cares? and the people that i actually look forward to working with and are not terrible people enjoy my company as well. the day was pretty wonderful and i hate that i am only there 12 hours a week.

i start the new stuff at the target tomorrow. to quote a fellow "team member" he said that, "it is pretty much the sweetest gig target offers" and i hope it is the truth. i am not loving folding the same towel every day. the new position does not involve folding crap at all. oh boy. i am excited. plus i think the people on this particular team are pretty awesome.

just so everyone knows i am listening to "is there life out there" by reba McEntire and i am enjoying it like you would not believe.

uhg, i just remembered i have to go to bed.

im in love....his name is jordan catalono

home from work. i thought it was never ever going to end. now that i know a few people and see them regularly i am a lot happier to be there most of the time. in other news, we are having chili for dinner tonight. exciting? the highlight is happening as we speak..."my so-called life" discs 1 and 2 will be watched----i am guessing all evening and into the morning. if i run out of those to watch i am getting into that Philadelphia show on hulu. its always sunny in philadelphia? is that what its called? i think so. moving on. nothing else is happening. i need someone to come down here. i am lonely like the wolf.

yea, meatloaf

why am i still in my target clothes? maybe because it is almost 7 and neither putting on pajamas nor putting on a whole new set of day time clothes sounds like a good idea. there is something sad about both. the thought of staying in red and khaki mode is a little sad as well. i have an urge to "zone" everything in the apartment and make everything "green". ha, oh target, you slay me with your secret talk.

i am making meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner. not the healthiest thing but since it is ground turkey that should count for something. i am also using 2% in the potatoes so shut your mouth. i have been thinking about dinner all day long and that is not lie. even before i went to work i was thinking about the great dinner ahead. i have been loving the comfort food lately. chicken and dumplings yesterday, meatloaf today, tomorrow i am thinking about making beans and cornbread. i am just needed some comfort. either that or i am just trying to recreate a cracker barrel in the apartment.

i am off again tomorrow. that is pretty exciting considering i thought i would never have a day off again. when i start the new position monday i wont have a day off but schedule craziness is minimal. i think i have one day i work at both places but i have a huge gap between the 2. niiiiice. uhg, i am boring myself writing this, i just dont have much to look at on the ol' internet. there are a few blogs that i read but they are not striking my fancy.

i also haven't been feeling very crafty lately. i think i am going to put all of my craft things away and make the dining room table a table to dine at again. i guess i only get that crafty feeling when the weather sucks. not that i take advantage of the great weather and spend it outside. i dont know.

at this point i am just typing to type.

goodbye now.

jt's ticket out

so. today is my day off of any and all work. i didnt wake up till 11:30. i then made chicken and dumplings and perused the internet for hours whilst jt watched the godfather 2 and 3. i had a hankering for something sweet so jt set out to get the perfect treaty. he returned with these beauties:




from sunny point cafe. operation eatin good really went out the window after the weigh in. anyway. these cakes also secured jt's ticket out of the doghouse that he has been in for a few days. thats all we will say about that.

jt has a one on one man-date tonight and i will use the apartment time to do a secret work out, watch the rest of "the great debaters" and "love and sex", the greatest movie of all time.

also, working "you know where" is making me hate humanity. whilst working on "the wave" which is the time of day when everyone works in a specific area together, making it look nice in a hurry...some older ladies said "oh look! its a towel folding party! what fun!" and proceeded to "fold" towels by picking them up and throwing them from one hand to the other. she laughed, sighed and walked on. we were left with the pile of towels she "folded". i also had a woman bring me her full shopping cart and say "honey, i dont want any of this anymore. i am just going to give it to you to put back. i remember when i worked retail and i was grateful when someone gave me something to do!" she patted my hand and walked away like she had done her good deed for the day. i was actually rendered catatonic and had to be taken away on a dolly. i was shocked that someone would do that! honestly! my other favorite is when someone asks for a product and we dont have it, they look at you like it is your fault. someone asked for a pill box and when i showed her the ones that we had, she looked at me like it was my fault we didnt have anything more fashionable than plain plastic. she said "uh, is this all you have?". uhhhhh, yes. things are pretty much grouped together. she walked away in a huff. she needs something to put pills in that has the days of the week printed on it for crying out loud. i lead her to it! is it some sort of trend going on? specialty pill holders? are there some high school musical ones at the wal mart that maybe we dont have yet? people also hold me personally responsible when we run out of things. we recently had patio furniture on clearance and it went out the door in a matter of hours. the next day people we asking about it and when i said it was all gone they would say (among other things) "well humph! i just drove all the way from (insert far away town) just to get this chair and you are telling me you are out!???!". yes, i am telling you that we are out. i forgot to call you personally to let you know the status of the wicker chairs.
it is also making me hate children. i actually heard a kid say "if you dont buy me this i will hate you". the mom bought the thing! if my kid said that to me i would say "hate on son, i am going to spank you within an inch of the next state when we get out to the car!" i hear these things all day long! parents being trampled by these demon kids. i just want to say "tell the kid NO. you are the parent! control the situation! mayday mayday! you are going down!" i have seen one dad actually saying no to his kid and i wanted to hug him! the kid asked "can we get this?" the dad said "no, we are here for so and so and so, no toys today." and the kid said "okay" and went on his merry way. i was proud to have witnessed it.

the end

...the love that let us share our name

i am listening to the new avett brothers song. it is the greatest feeling to hear something new from 2 of the greatest voices EVER. uhg, i am going to listen to it all day. jt is outside with the locksmith because guy locked his keys in the car. they are just lying in the seat, bless his heart. the plan was for me to come home, eat a great sandwich, lay on the couch where is is cold, watch "the great debaters", and maybe fall asleep. then we would go to the grocery store. nothing in that list happened. thats a lie. i ate the sandwich. i started the great debaters. i was technically on the couch. i was at home....i guess all of it happened now that i see it in front of me. i am embarrassed. not enough to delete all of this though.
i worked at the target this morning. i have never worked there in the morning. i can just say this: i was bored out of my mind. at night we are running around, everything is a mess, "guests" are everywhere, and it is a rush around type situation. in the morning it is quiet and since it was all "zoned" the night before there is really nothing to do. i carried a comforter around. i put a "camp rock" alarm clock away. i helped some people. all around uneventful. i saw a person doing the job that i am getting ready to start next week and they were drenched in sweat. maybe it pays more because it is more difficult? i am guessing they dont pay more for less work.
jt is still outside with the lock guy. i want to nap in the worst way.

hey everyone. i am not sure how to reply to comments on this bad boy and even if i did, how would you know to check there? i would like to address some of them here if i may.

chels----what in the hell should i do to work out? i am doing my secret workout once every 2 weeks. is that not enough? ha, that was a jokey joke. but really i do need to work out.

penelope---i wonder why they shut down that store?? that was a million dollar+ store! when you come in, i will most likely be working at one place or another but you guys should come spend the day here and we can have a fine dining experience. bring the cheetah outfit.

dee---herro!

robin---contartain!

who else reads this?

jt---you are a poopy face! just kidding, i love you!

oh my

operation "eating' good" has taken a terrible turn. last night at the target i found a scale in our computer training room. why the scale is there i have no idea. anyway, i weighed myself. it was the worst idea ever. but in my mind i was thinking "oh, the reason the scale is back here is because someone returned it because it obviously doesn't work". i convinced myself that it was massively off and started working. i also thought it was wrong because i really feel a lot better and not as heavy and gross. i even feel like i have lost a pound or 3. ANYWAY. i work and work and work then i went on my first break. a very young man was also on his break so i asked him to kindly weigh himself to see how much the scale was off. he did and said "yeah, i think it is off by at least 2 pounds!". i was looking for something more along the lines of 30 pounds off. i threw a little fit internally but externally i said "oh...thanks?". last time i weighed myself was when i lived in bristol so it was not that long ago. between then and now i have gained over 25 pounds! so when i weighed myself i was hoping to see a few pounds less than what i weighed the last time i got on a scale but what i got was 25 pounds more than that! seriously! i felt like i gained all of that in 2 seconds because my mind could not wrap around it. so, that sucks really really bad but i am still keeping up with not eating crap food and lots of it. i do feel like i am making progress and though it really sucks that i have to think about these extra pounds i am not going back to my old ways. even if i didn't see any progress, i don't think i could start eating the way i did again. i always felt terrible and lethargic. not that i am a vision of energy but i am getting there.

lets talk about other stuff. i am off both starbucks and target today. what sucks is that i have to work both tomorrow. from 6a something to 11p something i will be working it up. exciting. since i have today off we are going to try to get out of the apartment for a while. most of the time now that i am working a lot all i want to do is come home and rest when i am not at work. i used to want to spend every waking moment out of this apartment. days off are a different story. i feel like i am wasting time if i just stay in.

hilarious

dont listen to hanson's "i will come to you" when you are missing people in a major way. it is like a one person tear factory in here.

so, although we slip up every now and again , operation "eatin' good" is still going on. this morning i was starving to death so we went to the greenlife hippie store up the street. mind you it was mid morning and today is obviously tuesday. this place was packed. i mean, packed. when we were leaving i was thinking "ah, no need to even brush my teeth for this little trip". i went in my dress that i wear anytime i am not wearing a target or starbucks getup. it has a stain on the front from some sort of food spillage. my hair looked like you could squeeze it and make fries with the oil dripping from it. getting the visual? anyway, we went and it was packed full of people that looked like they just got finished burning 100$ bills for fun. anyway. i got some fruit, water, and a pack of no high fructose corn syrup, no artificial flavor, organic cookie that somehow contains green tea extract? the point of that story is---don't those people have jobs?
i was looking forward to getting into this organic fruit because apparently it actually tastes like what it is and not a watered down version of itself that we are all supposedly getting. i think i was just expecting something aaaamaaaaazzzing and all i got was fruit. i thought i was going to be crying and screaming about how wonderful it was. it was fruit. the end. the cookies sucked. i should have known because the packaging is awesome and boasts a "creamy vanilla bean filling". it was a knock off oreo. thats all. whatever. whilst consuming all of this hippie food i was watching "my fair lady" also known as the longest movie on the earth. come on. seriously an hour and a half could have been knocked off. i think even jt could not even take that much of audrey hepburn. i napped in the middle and when i woke up i had not missed anything.

tonight is jts mandate night so i got a couple of movies. fragments of tracy and meet bill. neither of which can hold my attention over the internet. sweet sweet internet. i just found episodes of "this american life" going all the way back to 1995 so i am pretty much set for a few months.

i am still listening to music on the headphones near the pain range. i have been listening to crap i liked in the 90's and good things i like in the 90's. maybe i listened to savage gardens "to the moon and back" 2 times. who knows? i recommend revisiting that jewel. oh! jewel, i should listen to her! maybe. maybe not.

i have listen to this everyday for a week now



it goes to show that sufjan stevens can sing anything at all and i will love it.

what else....i think that is all for now.

penny---when are you coming in?

maybe i was just listening to janet jackson's "if". man, i forgot how great that song was. i had the tape and wore it out. mom got it for me from the magic mart. how long ago was that? i am listening to it again. i honestly cant get it loud enough. i have been in a mood to listen to music very loudly. loud to the point that i feel uncomfortable and am worried that someone somewhere is being offended. to the point that if we are in the car, i want to turn it up further but i am afraid that everyone within a mile will bleed from the ears. i havnt gotten it to that point but i want to. on that note, we are going to the grocery store.

well hello stranger.

lot of work going on. i feel very strange about how things are panning out and the ratio of starbucks to target. i figured i would be working mostly at starbucks and a few days at target. now it is full time at target and if i can squeeze some starbucks in there, good on me. i am going to throw out some target talk out here and talk about what is going on there. i was hired to work "hardlines" which is the least fun thing i have ever done. i walk miles and miles and straighten things. anyway, a few days ago one of the team leads took me aside and offered me a different position that will give me a regular 7a-3p schedule, every other weekend and thursdays off, and more money. of course i took it because it will be more money than i am making at starbucks right now (after almost 8 years! what the heck?!) and their health insurance is just as good. i am not leaving starbucks for good but i am going to ask what the minimum i can get by with and still stay. anyway, i feel like crap about it. like i am not being loyal or something. i dont love target yet but i feel like i may. plus it will be great to have a regular schedule. anyway. nothing really funny has happened in my life and nothing that would make a great entry. we just got back from georgia but we could not even stay a full 24 hours. we went to see john's game (they won and it was great) and jt's granddad was there. i am pretty sure he liked me or at least didnt hate me. penny----his granddad and you would get along famously! well, i have to eat and go to bed. not a good idea, i know. we have not been eating healthily the past couple of days but it really tastes great. we will get back on track tomorrow.

a great eatin' good tip

so, operation "eatin' good" has a special bonus. when i stepped into the apartment after work the whole place smelled like cantaloupe! it was really nice. most of the time i walk in and think "ugh, it smells like 4 hours ago dinner and socks in here".

update

we are a week and some days into "operation eatin' good". it is amazing how differently i feel in this short time. fruits, vegetables, no soda, no treaties....and i really don't feel like i am depriving myself. mostly because i am eating throughout the day, just not a whole cake at a time. we went to asiana day before yesterday and it was the worst idea. we didn't eat even half of what we would have in the past and felt like crap. just bloated and heavy feeling. we both agreed that if we could have gone back and eaten at home, something better for us, we would have.
work is going well. starbucks is my comfort zone and even though i am only there 2-3 days a week i enjoy it a lot moreand appreciate the fact that i know what i am doing there. target is pretty much a 5 day a weeker and it is hard work. not difficult, just hard work. the only time i really stop is when i need to find something for someone. i am grateful for that break and it most likely will give me the chance to use the walkie talkie. who doesn't love a walkie talkie? i know it fills me with a moment of joy. nothing really exciting is going on other than that. i am at starbucks tonight....7 something to close.
i think i am going to strap my skates on after the movie we are watching (fierce people starring jt's celebrity girlfriend diane lane) and skate around the laundry room. FUN!

work

so i worked at target tonight. officially. working. on the floor. when i first clocked in, i started to the back to find someone to tell me what to do. i got stopped by 3 "guests" asking me various questions, taking things apart asking and me to put them back together, to shop for them, things like that. i broke a sweat within the first 5 minutes. that was pretty much a sign of how the rest of the night was going to go. all i can say is that it is WORK. i only stopped going for about 10 minutes the whole night. i got a 15 minutes break but it took me that long to get to the sitting down place. i sat, sent jt 2 text messages, then got right back up and started working like i have never worked before. well, i am sure i am exaggerating there but it is a lot harder than i could have imagined. well, not hard.....just non stop and fast paced. which is exacting what they tell you when you start but i had no idea. when you shop there, you don't notice actually how many people are working, their walky talky chatter, constant "zoning" of the shelves, la la la. its crazy. i like it and i know i will get more comfortable there. all i know is that i will never shop the same. i will be more considerate of the people that have to clean up after my being indecisive and inconsiderate. oh i dont want this thing anymore, let me put it in a random place waaaaaaaay across the store. no more of that. you would not believe the crap we have to put back in the right spot. seriously.
anyway. i am really really really tired. jt made pancakes (and waffles......?) and coffee for me this morning. nothing better than waking up to food. we watched "kitchen nightmares" all day long, then i went to work. that is pretty much my day. and when i said we watched "kitchen nightmares" all day long i mean i watched it from 10am till i got ready to leave for work at 440pm, then i am pretty sure jt kept watching it till i got off of work. now i am watching it AGAIN. i love this show. i love love love love it. we only watch the uk version though. the american version makes me ill.
anyway, happy 4th of july! think of me when you are watching fireworks and eating great cookout food. i will be at target, sweating and moving faster than i think anyone has ever seen me move.
i promise a post that is not about work will be coming up at some point.

"you know, weird....awkward"

hard candy. this movie is making me un-com-fort-a-ble. egad, honestly. i also saw this guy in the movie "little children" a couple of days ago and that movie made me all unsettled as well. we bought the movie because it would complete our 4 for $20 and thus cheaper to own than rent almost. now i own a another movie i wont watch a second time. we have a lot of those. egad, this movie just got more awkward. plus there is no soundtrack (out blockbuster big deal guy pointed that out) so it makes me feel even more uncomfortable.
i just made chicken and dumplings. i plan to have a human sized portion and leave the rest for lunch tomorrow. possibly. we'll see. if i can even EAT while watching this movie.

meep

first official day at target. officially on the floor first day. there are some differences between the 2 jobs. at target, i watched a video, took an alcohol selling quiz, pretended to ring people up for 5 minutes, THEN i got my own register and rang people up in real life. it was honestly traumatizing. i know there are people around to help you when you need it but it is just strange to be taking care of "guests" after skimming a pamphlet and playing cashier on a dummy till. i would also like to say that i may hardly be on a register in the future, i am mostly "zoning" the aisles and talking to people. i get to put that bag of whatever that you decided you didn't want back where it goes. at any rate, it was frightening. i would like to say that everyone was really nice and patient with me. something i like about ringing is the ultimate price power. something rang up as 2.99 and the woman said "oh my, that said 1.99 on the shelf!" and i said "well well well (pushed a button or 2), now it says 1.99 here too!". that is great.
i developed a great headache that may be because of my nervousness at work or because i am trying not to eat a whole cake a day. i gave in at blockbuster and got a mr.pibb. it didnt taste that great because sodas in bottles that are not super cold never do. my "treat" has been cantaloupe and it is doing me right so far but i am sure i will get tired of it pretty soon.

the point of this post was to talk about this gem of a remark a blockbuster guy gave us. i rented "hard candy" and he was talking about liking the movie and ellen page's role. he then said that he hated juno because "(sigh, eye roll, still looking at the ceiling) it just collapsed under the weight of its own potential". oh boy. just like when they were talking about a movie being "soooo transcendent", we used the quote to describe everything. this mr pibb collapsed under the weight of its own potential. that really did happen though.

i cant think of any pictures to put up here yet but i want to include at least one a day. i have till the end of today to get it up here.